I spent a considerable amount of time considering whether or not to share this. However, I have no shame in the choices I made. Even if I were inclined to think that those choices were shameful, it wasn't even a choice really. Acceptance of a foregone conclusion is more like it. Whether or not I wanted it (a topic which is no one's business but my own) I have taken multiple contraindicated medications, I have drunk  a fair amount of alcohol, and I have not been taking any prenatal vitamins.

More even than the medications I'm taking (which only carry the risk of physical birth defects), I've met adults with fetal alcohol syndrome and it's scary as fuck. I'm not doing that to any potential offspring I might have. Especially not potential offspring that have already managed to implant themselves despite birth control.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.

So, when I got up this morning I went to the nearby Dongxing People's Hospital where I had a nasty fucking shitshow of a horrible day.

From the intake receptionist who totally couldn't deal with my name being written with letters instead of characters (same alphabet the Vietnamese patients—of which there are many—use) to the sonogram tech that was actively pressuring me to want it because I'm 36 and too old to have not already had at least one child, every single part of the day was fucking miserable.

Basically, I'm a stupid irresponsible liar who can't count. Even if I etymologically share a name with a certain famous virgin mother, it's still not physically possible to have gotten pregnant 3 weeks before having sex (unprotected or otherwise). With my partner living on another continent, there is no question of those dates.

But, no, I'm a liar. Or I'm stupid and can't count. Or both. And ha ha ha isn't it so funny that my hand-copied Chinese consent statement is shaky bad handwriting; I don't even use a pen to write in my native language when a computer is available. It really wasn't cool to giggle and coyly ask if I'm illiterate. Nursing is a two year degree in China. I'm better educated than you are, bitch.

I've taken dose one of the pill for a medical abortion. After a huge amount of fighting over like hell I'm spending the night on an unheated ward with a toilet down the hall (no soap, no paper, no shower) when my hotel has a mattress and pillows, I'm scheduled to go back for dose two (the other pill) tomorrow morning.

Then, because I'm an irresponsible lying liar who can't count and who very definitely is carrying a fetus at an impossible stage of development, I'm supposed to be vacuumed clean in the afternoon.

Tomorrow, I expect ridicule, scorn, and pain.