Heart

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My mind, that ability to think that inhabits my head, and spends it time thinking of various things as I cycle, and as I sit and eat a piece of chicken at Jollibee’s, is full of both happy thoughts and sad thoughts. 

Lately, I have been thinking of this trip, I have thought so hard, and so sad, that today I return to Vinh, a city that pushed me more towards depression than any place on the face of the earth, at the time I faced my bike in the direction of Vinh and started pedaling my thought was to get out of Vietnam as quickly as possible. I had come to the end of my rope, and there was nothing left to hold onto. It could be best to understand that although time, money, blood, in the figurative sense of the word 'blood', as I have not bled on this trip, although I have been bitten by mosquitos on several occasions, and from what I understand of the physiology of the mosquito, they do take blood from the body during the process, of biting, or really stabbing, as they spear with their nose, or whatever that pointy thing on their face is called, and tears, although nothing about this trip has caused me to cry, this too is a figurative kind of word, but I did shed a few tears whilst watching Forrest Gump which just happened to be on a movie channels here at the Lam Giang Hotel in Vinh, I’ve seen the film several times and each viewing brings a tear when Forrest asks Jenny if little Forrest is as stupid as he is, Forrest, by all accounts, is stupid, but he has a goodness in his heart that allows him to overcome his stupidity and make a success out of his life, which didn’t seem possible from the level of his stupidity when he was a child.

I turned around today and did not think failure, I just thought that ‘I got to get the fuck out of this country’. I normally do not use such vulgar language, but I read a thread on a forum of a bicycle touring website filled with maldroits, so I think it’s fine, and after experiencing Vietnam for a prolonged period of time, getting the fuck out of here is rather a mild desire.
In my life I have had several brief encounters, most with women, and I’d chalk the brief part up to my over excitability, caused by not spending enough time with women, as you may be aware, China has more men than women, but I think in my case it’s more due my high standards. But this brief encounter was with a man, which was a first for me, but rather than blowing something special, he only blew my mind, and I didn’t blow anything of his.

My, Mind, Was, Blown. 

To preserve his privacy, I will call him Jordan. 

At 31 km into a 57 km ride I met Jordan. Jordan, is what I would call a free spirit. He is a bicycle tourist also. He is the real deal. I told him of my sadness, and my desire to get out of Vietnam. I showed him this journal and he read it quickly, not because he was a quick reader, but because this journal is lithe in both word count, and depth of thought, it floats as if it was a 41 kg lady from Hanoi, dressed in traditional garb, ice skating.

After reading my journal, he asked me what this ‘shit was all about, man'. He told me of a tribe of Indians in Mexico, that think if you take their photo that you’re stealing their soul, and they don’t like when that happens. He told me a bunch of other stuff, that was both profane and profound.

I then asked Jordan what I should do. I was sad, and I didn’t want to be here any more. Here is what he told me, and this is an exact quote, as I had him repeat it, and the questioned him to get it exact “Dude, you’ve got to live your life for yourself not for others. You’re doing some journal that is not only a piece of shit, but you’re giving your heart and soul to people you don’t even know, and don’t deserve to know your innermost thoughts. Quit doing that fucking journal, and live your life like every day counts. Don’t spend four days in some shithole like Vinh unless you’re getting a fucking lot of pussy. You ever see the movie Point Break? The original one, not the bullshit remake? No, you have got to watch it, learn it, and live it. Those motherfuckers lived every moment 100%, and you’re spending four days in Vinh. You need to change man”.

I’ve never met a man that has been more right. I feel like my life has been changed. And as my life has changed, your reading habits will, assuming you’re reading this, as this journal finishes here and now.