A couple of years ago I did a bike tour and wrote a journal called A Fistful of Advil. To be honest I had the title long before I thought of writing a bike tour journal or doing a bike tour. The "reasoning" behind the 2003 tour was pretty simple. My wife wanted to drive to Indiana to see her family. Since I already had a lift to Indiana, why not ride my bike back? My in-laws' new house is in North Judson IN and my home is in Mount Vernon, Virginia just outside DC. I figured ten days ought too be enough to cover the distance. No problem. Well, I made it 586 or so miles in about a week before I got sick, my bike broke down, and I ran out of time to rectify either predicament. So I hitched a ride home with my wife and kids as they returned to DC.

Last year I rode from Niagara Falls to Albany, New York on New York Bike Route 5 and the Erie Canal Trail system. This trip was about 360 miles in four days. Other than a mysteriously balky knee, it was a trouble free ride. In keeping with the Sergio Leone theme I called that tour journal For a Few Advils Less.

This year's tour steals once again from the Man without a Name movies. The "gut" of the title alludes to the fact that I am carrying about 10 pounds more than in 2003. (I do not know the exact amount but suffice it to say that even a winning Powerball ticket would not get me to wear a Speedo in public.) The "bent" refers to my recumbent bicycle, an Easy Racers Tour Easy Expedition model. The "Ugly" refers to my tempermental knees. Some days I have no trouble; on others, I'm the Tin Man.

After this tour I thought I'd shift to some other movie series for inspiration. Maybe Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Dope) or James Bond (Octowussy).

Revenge comes into play because this tour is supposed to make up for the failed ending to "A Fistful of Advil". I will be riding that tour in reverse. That is to say, I will start in DC and ride to Indiana. Clever, no? So why didn't I call this journal "An Advil Full of Fists" or "A Fistful of Livda"? The first makes no sense at all and the second begs the question, "What's a livda?" And besides I had to get The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly monkey off my back.