April 3, 2018
First Mountain Stage
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As a human being, I have peculiar thoughts, just as any other human being does. My thinking is bicycle touring is not just and end in itself, but it’s a delivery system to bring new experiences to the bicycle tourist. And, it’s a really pure delivery system, I imagine only walking would be more pure. As a bicycle journal keeper, I think it’s important to not only tell you that I went from Rural Road 4510 to a dirt track approximately 55 meters past the train tracks but also to report experiences that the bicycle delivered me to.
I spent last night in Dannok, a desperate town on the Malaysian border. It’s sole purpose for existence is to provide relieve for Malaysian men suffering from the lack of entertainments that Malaysia is so bereft of.
In college (Humboldt State University), I studied geography, even got a BA in it. I love looking at maps, and borders, all that stuff. Recently, when India and Bangladesh came to an agreement to get rid of all the enclaves they had, I felt sad. The Berlin Wall coming down broke my heart. In my professional life, I was in the Border Patrol, Chula Vista Station. Everyday, working the border. Interesting fact, in San Diego Sector we did not call them 'wetbacks' we called them 'tonks' as that was the sound of a four D Cell Maglite™ hitting their head. From the border patrol I went to deporting people back to their home country. I was also entrusted with the sacred responsibility of stopping human trafficking.
Dannok doesn’t have a coffee shop to hangout in but it does have numerous brothels. I went to one near my hotel (the P.P. **) picked out a young (legal) lady, and brought her back to my room. Mind you this was not to fulfill some carnal desire on my part, it was to find out about her situation in this horrible town, and to inquire about the prevalence of human trafficking in Thailand. Also, I could practice my Thai. Interesting side note, private Thai lessons cost on average 500 baht an hour, but prostitutes are less than half that when done 'long time'.
In assisting me to practice learning Thai, this young lady agreed to let me interview her, please continue on:
Bob: Are you ready for the interview?
Noi: Just one minute, I’m so tired.
Bob: Sorry, the third time always takes longer.
Noi: I’m just not used to such a large ****.
Bob:I should have warned you about that.
Noi: No it’s OK, you know what you are doing and were very gentle.
Bob: Because I once knew this girl. We saw the Smashing Pumpkins together. Garbage opened.
Noi: Oh…OK
Bob: Yah..
Noi: And when you ****** me up my ***, I was so scared, but it felt so good.
Bob: Because I know a secret.
Noi: Oh, what is that?
Bob: Remember, first I ate your ***, so when I inserted my **** it had lubrication from my saliva.
Noi: Do you like eating ***?
Bob: In Thailand it’s fine because ladies don’t use toilet paper, so it’s soft there, just like a toasted marshmallow in a smore.
Noi: What’s a 'smore'?
Bob: In America when we go camping we make smores with graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate, they are very delicious.
Noi: What’s a Graham Cracker?
Bob: It’s a cracker, but instead of using white, it uses brown.
Noi: Oh, OK.
Bob: So back to the interview.
Noi OK.
Bob: We’re you a victim of sex trafficking?
Noi: No
Bob: Good! I did not suspect you were. I feel much better now about ******* you up your ***. Would you like a round four?
Noi: Oh yes! (Mischievous smile).
I rode 63 km to นาทวี.
Today's ride: 63 km (39 miles)
Total: 147 km (91 miles)
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