August 5, 2013
After Hamburg: To the ends of Germany
Monday and Karin had to catch her train back to Mainz. She always has to do that. I hate Mondays. We had a few last precious hours together, cycling into Mainz and meeting up once more with Dominic the vegan who watched us eat ice creams. Then he left and Karin and I went to the train station.
It was so sad. This is the first really sad moment of the film. The train station was crowded, I walked Karin to just above her platform, overlooking it. I was still pushing the stupid bike and the whole area was crowded with people. With nowhere to lean the bike I had to hold it with one hand while I hugged Karin for the last time. I mean, how is that for symbolism? You can't write stuff like that - girl in one hand, bike in the other. Which one wins? Karin's train pulled up and we kissed and hugged and she walked away to it, down the steps and on to the train and there I am, dumbly holding onto the bike and crying. It felt like I would never see her again. The present was no longer magnificent.
The train started to pull away and I watched it leave. Then I looked at my bicycle:
"Why do you always do this, take me away from girls like this?"
"Hey, I'm not taking you away from anyone, that train is taking her away from us," I think I forgot to mention, but I have a talking bicycle, "And anyway, I'm the one who brought you TO that girl. Three times in fact. If it wasn't for me, you never would have even met Karin!"
"Hmmm well, I suppose you're right"
"Damn straight I'm right. Now get on and start pedalling, I want to go to Denmark. Doesn't Denmark sound fun?"
"I guess so. Do you have a tissue?"
"Front right pannier. Now lets go!!!"
So I started cycling towards Denmark. I tried to go through some of the sights of Hamburg city centre but my heart wasn't in it. It felt like nothing could cheer me up, not even a talking bicycle. But then I saw this:
I think you'll agree, this was about as likely as a parakeet on a bicycle path. A bunch of camels hanging out next to a busy Hamburg throughfare. The 'circus' sign next to them was a clue to what they were doing in the middle of the city, but they were still an odd sight next to all the traffic. And camels with two humps, way weirder than camels with one.
The rest of Germany was a lot more bicycle lanes and nice sunny weather. I found an absolute great place to swim and wash my clothes at this lake:
Generally there was a lot of jumping in water to cool off whenever I got the chance. Generally there was a lot of cycling. It was mostly quite uneventful, but you just never know what is around the next corner. And at one stage around the next corner I came across a man lying sideways injured on the ground. His legs were still wrapped around his bicycle frame and blood was pouring from a nasty wound on his finger. He wasn't moving. I leapt into action, leaning my bike down and rushing to his aid. "Hallo! Are you okay? What has happened? Can you hear me?" He probably wasn't British, he probably had no idea what I was saying. Either way, from closer inspection I was able to make a diagnosis of his predicament. Having spent many long nights cycling a rickshaw through the streets of Edinburgh and giving lifts to the occupants of that fine city, I was quite well aware of the glazed face on this poor man. He was drunk as the proverbial skunk. If only I had my rickshaw, I could scoop him up and carry him home, but I didn't. I pondered my next move. Cycling off seemed fair, but he was blocking the whole path.
Then a woman on a bike came along. I tried to explain the situation. She spoke to him in German, but still no response. A man on a bike came, then two girls. I bravely retreated behind them all and watched. There was talk of calling the emergency services. This had the effect of smelling salts on the drunkard who lept to his feet and vaulted onto his bicycle. He then fell straight back to the ground with almost as much haste. I've almost never seen anyone so drunk in all my life, and as I said, I've lived in Scotland. This second fall had the sober man pulling out his phone to call the emergency services. The drunk again rose, this time shaking his hand and crying "Nein-Nein-Nein!" Strange, I thought, I suppose he is British after all, and how kind of him to tell the man the number, but its One-One-Two for the emergency services in Europe, you silly drunkard! But before anyone could call anyone the guy managed to once again get on his bike and steady himself and somehow got together enough coordination to pedal around the corner and out of sight, swerving and swaying wildly. And even though I would bet every penny of my life savings that he fell down again within moments, we good samaritans all shrugged our shoulders and continued on our way.
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At one point the cable for my rear derailleur snapped. I knew that was going to happen because I'd noticed it was seriously frayed before Hamburg. I'd meant to fix it in Hamburg but there had been too much else to do. So now I had to cycle twenty-five kilometres with only two gears which was a pain because it had just got all hilly, but I did it and made it to the bike shop in Oldenburg just before the bike shop closed. I asked for a cable. And some housing. And to borrow cable cutters to cut the end off the cable. And for a thingy to put on the end of the cable. And then the woman punched about fifteen numbers into a calculator and furrowed her brow and rubbed her chin as if she was about to charge me a fortune and I was worried because I only had a ten euro note and then she turned the calculator around and asked me for one euro and eighty two cents. I must admit I was pleasantly delighted.
I had my ferry to Denmark all booked for Wednesday morning, so on Tuesday I cycled until late and I had to cross a long bridge which actually left mainland Germany and went to an island called Fehmarn, from which my ferry to Denmark would leave. I crossed this bridge at sunset and it was an immense and fantastic bridge. The wind was absolutely blowing with tremendous force and the sunset was really one of the greatest I've ever seen. The force of the wind and the beauty of the scenery combined to lift my soul and I realised that this was really the end of something as I left behind mainland Europe and transitioned into an exciting new phase of things in Scandanavia.
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GERMANY SUMMARY
Time: 19 days
Distance: 1242 kilometres
Rest days: 8
Best bits: Solar boats, roadside parakeets, the best ice cream ever, swimming in lakes, cycling with Karin.
Worst bits: Mondays.
Top tip: The Euro shop in Mainz has nothing useful to offer
05/08/13 - 70km
06/08/13 - 141km
07/08/13 - 89km (16km in Germany)
Oh, and by the way, I don't really have a talking bicycle.
Today's ride: 227 km (141 miles)
Total: 1,811 km (1,125 miles)
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