February 28, 2015
A great deal of monkey pictures: And another pie chart
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Actually those of you who love playing 'Spot the monkey' would have been in for a real treat if you were me this day, because there were dozens of them hanging out by the road as I entered the picturesque town of Prachuap Khiri Khan. I'd made good progress throughout the morning, having to go back on the main highway for a short section but otherwise being on enjoyable roads which culminated in a nice bay heading into Prachuap Khiri Khan. The monkeys were just hanging out on the wide footpath next to the road and didn't seem to mind when I stopped by to say hello.
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It's not really good form to feed the monkeys I know, but I had some bananas in my bag that were a bit old that I didn't want to eat anymore and I thought it a waste to just throw them away and so instead I threw them to the monkeys. And they certainly seemed to appreciate them, the lucky ones that got them stuffing them into their mouths and practically swallowing them whole. If anyone ever tries to tell you that monkeys eat bananas just the same way that humans do, they're lying, no human could eat a banana that fast, I'm quite sure.
I stopped to get some food in the town and then rather annoyingly got a puncture on my rear wheel which I had to fix out in the hot sun. I'd been getting a lot of flats recently, the impressive puncture-resistance of Schwalbe tyres not so impressive once you wear the tyre so thin that you are no longer running on the tyre at all but on the layer of puncture-resistant material underneath. I only had myself to blame. And my day of good progress was further hindered as I fell into a long online conversation with a beautiful, tall, blonde Danish girl, and most of the afternoon was soon lost.
There wasn't much time to get far beyond Prachuap Khiri Khan before the day was done but I did get far enough beyond it to start looking for a place to camp just before dusk. Then, very annoyingly, I got yet another flat tyre, this time on the front. With not much time before sundown I patched the tube up as quick as I could and put it back in to get going again. The hole had been on the inside of the tube and, as I assumed it must have been caused by the rim somehow, I didn't even check the tyre before replacing it. This was a mistake. The tube immediately began to deflate again.
I took the tyre off once more and this time checked it and straight away came across a huge thorn, several centimetres long, that I realised must have gone straight through, causing a hole on both the outside and the inside of the tube. In my rush I'd only noticed the inner one. To make matters worse I also found another thorn near it that had caused a third hole. So I had at least three holes, only one of which I'd patched, and quite possibly another three from having put the tube back in without removing the thorns. Oops, silly me.
Giving this tube up as a lost cause I checked my spare tubes, but I only had one with a long valve stem. With my front rim being very deep I needed a long valve stem, a standard schraeder valve just wasn't long enough to fit. This one useful spare that I had was not new, and it had a tear in it, right on the seam, that I deemed impossible to fix, rendering it quite un-useful. So I was now very much in trouble, with only two possible tubes, one of which had an impossible-to-fix tear in it and the other with more holes than a block of Swiss cheese.
With the light fading I decided to try and patch up the holey tube, and did my best to repair as many holes as I could find. It held just enough air to get me along the road to a suitable camping spot, although I had to go past some kids playing football in the twilight to get to it. Of course they soon followed me down the track I'd taken and watched me stagger around in the dark putting up my tent. They were friendly enough, and were obviously just curious about the strange apparition that had appeared before them and now, frustrated and dripping sweat, was trying to construct a mysteriously-shaped shelter in the dark whilst swatting at mosquitoes and cursing.
A man, alerted by one of the kids no doubt, arrived by motorcycle just as the tent was up. I asked him if it was okay for me to have my tent here and he seemed to think it would have been better two metres to the right, but fortunately resisted actually making me move it. He was also quite insistent that I should take a shower using a nearby hose, although I waited until everyone had left before I did that. But they did all leave and I could finally collapse, frustrated and exhausted into my tent. My tyre had fully deflated once again and I only had one good patch left so I was really in rather a pickle, but that didn't matter, I didn't need to worry about that until the morning. For now, at least, I could just relax. "Err, sorry to interupt" came a voice suddenly in my ear, "but it is the end of the month."
"Oh, do we have to do this now Alan?" I was in no mood for doing accounts.
"Yes we do, it seems you've been a little bit naughty this month."
"Oh, bloody hell."
Some of you will have been wondering what happened to Alan of late, what with him having been so quiet. Truth is he's been falling apart a bit (I think he might have been drinking) but it seemed like he'd roused himself for this, actually it seemed like he was going to enjoy giving me a good grilling. Let the statistics commence!
<p> February January +/-</p><p>Food £104.89 £73.86 +£31.03</p><p>Water £11.08 £7.42 +£3.66</p><p>Drinks £14.89 £8.03 +£6.86</p><p>Beer £6.50 £0 </p><p>Accommodation £58.38 £23.40 +£34.98</p><p>Waterfalls £0.33 £8.82 -£8.49</p><p>Other Attractions £19.33 £6.20 +£13.13</p><p>Sunglasses £1.00 £2.95 -£1.95</p><p>Toiletries £1.92 £1.52 +£0.40</p><p>Bike parts £10.40 £0</p><p>Helmet £12.00 £0</p><p>Clothes £4.40 £0</p><p>Internet £2.53 £0</p><p>Stove gas £1.00 £0</p><p>Shoes £3.33 £0</p><p>TOTAL £250ish</p><p></p>
"250 pounds! 250 pounds! Have you gone completely out of your mind?!" Alan's rant had begun.
"Well, I am talking to a notebook."
"Your spending on food has gone up, your spending on drinks has gone up, water up, accommodation up."
"Waterfalls went down."
"What good is that when you're staying in five star hotels?!"
"I think that was your idea."
"And beer! Why are you drinking beer?"
"Look whose talking."
"Whash zat shupposed to mean?"
"Look Alan, I really appreciate your help, but maybe you need to chill out a bit, have you made a pie chart this month?"
"Yes."
"Good, thank you, maybe we'll just-"
"SHOES! YOU DIDN'T NEED NEW SHOES!!!"
Today's ride: 73 km (45 miles)
Total: 38,041 km (23,623 miles)
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