A city named Semey: A little excitement at last

July 31, 2014

With the possible exception of the time that I accidentally got a job in an office this had been the most boring week of my life, but it finally drew to a close as I approached the city of Semey. My first impressions as I cycled into it, however, was that it had not really been worth the effort. The run-down tower blocks marked it out immediately as the city that Kazakhstan forgot, for while investment in Almaty and Astana continues at a furious pace it seemed this place had not received the same generosity. It didn't come as too much of a surprise, seeing as the place is famous only for being close to where the Soviets conducted their nuclear testing. A good reason for Kazakhstan to try and sweep it under the rug, and for me not to hang around too long.

Kazakhstan has very elaborate graveyards. Most of the time the graveyards were bigger and more impressive than the villages next to them

Is it the world's most precarious scaffolding?

One thing I did need to do before I hurried on through was to get my country sign photo in. Things with Kazakhstan written on them and national flags had not been commonplace during the previous thousand kilometres and this was my last chance. But with great good fortune I soon found that someone had thoughtfully graffitied Kazakhstan on a wall and, perhaps anticipating my arrival, had even added the number 30 for me. This kindly prevented me from having to stick any tape on my chest in a neighbourhood where I was already far too likely to be beaten up as it was. The only minor problem now was that Kazakhstan was not country number 30, but showing the ingenuity and speed-of-thought that has become my hallmark, I soon came up with a way around that:

Country Number Thirty Five - Kazakhstan!

Next I continued towards the centre of the city and to do that I had to cross a big bridge. The bridge looked a bit like the Golden Gate Bridge, or Brooklyn Bridge, except it was white and, whilst Semey certainly ain't no San Francisco or New York, as I cycled across it the light caught the skyline of the city just right and I was impressed. It looked very nice and I'm sorry I didn't get a photo, but it was impossible to get the bike on the pavement so I had to cycle in the roadway and I didn't want to stop. But trust me, it was impressive. But actually, you shouldn't trust me, because after the thousand kilometres I'd just been through I'd have been impressed by tickets to watch paint dry. I would have paid a lot of money for them too.

Spotted another Marco Polo sheep! This one had the misfortune that a whole city was built around his grazing circle when he wasn't looking. Most unfortunate for the poor fellow

After quite a long time searching and asking around I eventually managed to find a cafe in the city that had free wifi and I settled down to check my emails for the first time since Almaty. I lifted the lid on my laptop and suddenly began to twitch a little. I looked around me. The cafe was big with bright lighting, the place was filled with people, through the window I could see girls cutting by in skimpy shorts, above me a TV was playing pop music, and at my fingertips I had the whole entire Internet. It was all too much! I was seriously overstimulated! I mean, I had a piece of cake in front of me, for the love of God! I started to hyperventilate, I found all this very difficult to handle, and almost had to ask a waitress if there was a dark room where I could go and lie down for a while.

Today's ride: 105 km (65 miles)
Total: 23,751 km (14,749 miles)

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