Last year as we planned our trip in Andalucia we somehow decided it would be clever to arrive in Malaga and then to hop a train to Cordoba. We confidently incorporated that into the plan and went about merrily booking stays in Cordoba and beyond. But once in Malaga we were shocked to find out that no train to Cordoba would accept our (fully assembled) German bikes. We ended up taking a taxi-van to Cordoba, a 300 euro error.

So here we are planning another excursion, and starting from Valencia - Spain's third largest city, we assumed we could get a train to Madrid - the capital and largest city. Nope. Why would you think that!

As in other European countries, Spain has a variety of train types, or maybe they are train companies, or subsidiaries of RENFE, the main train authority. They have names like AVE, Alvia, Euromed, Altaria, Avant, Avlo, Ouigo, Iryo, and more. But none of these want to see our bikes, unless maybe they are disassembled and fitted into a bag of some certain specification.

No, in Spain, the magic words are "Media Distancia" and ok, maybe Regional Express, Cercanias, and Rodalies. These are the only trains that will accept an assembled bike, and to boot there are limited bike spaces on each. Regional Express, as the name does not imply, are slow old trains in rural areas, while Cercanias are suburban trains near bigger cities. "Media Distancia", or medium distance, trains are somewhat newer and faster, but they are not the high speed or long distance ones. 

Ok, one may say, so to go by train with a bike just choose to travel a  "medium distance" and book a Media Distancia. But, not "so fast". There is no single site that can find you the Media Distancia you need. There is a map of the Media Distancia lines, but it is incomprehensible and even if it seems to show a line from A to B, you will never find a way to book on it.

Here is how all this appears to be playing out for us, this time around. It remains speculation, because I am writing this from home. We can expect an exciting final report when it actually happens. 

It begins with that  glib idea of taking a train from Valencia, stopping off in Madrid, and continuing to Plasencia. Plasencia is a more or less random point along the Via de la Plata, which is the "Camino" route from Sevilla to Santiago de Compostella. We chose Plasencia after we found out about the Via de la Plata, but without having any big commitment to Santiago this time around. From Plasencia we should be able to scoot down the Plata about 400 km to Sevilla, and then to say we were on it. The whole route is actually  more like 1000 km.

From Valencia, just cycling to Plasencia would add 600 km, and that would not fit the schedule. So ok, the train. One "strategy" would be to arrive in Valencia and to present ourselves at the train station, assuming we could go. But with Malaga still smarting, we started spending a lot of time looking for the Media Distancia to Madrid. Reading Brent Irvine's last year blog, we knew for sure there was a Media Distancia from Madrid to Plasencia. But we never found a train to Madrid. And a little later in the story, a phone call to Renfe in Spain (+34 91 232 03 20) confirmed that there was no hope. Plus before Renfe we tried some emails with a rail booking service out of England called Railclick, but they gave up quickly. No hope, they confirmed.

During this, Dodie was quietly ruminating on "Plan B". "Plan B" came about when we reached Santiago last time, to of course find no train out. But the post office - Correos - has a program called Paq Bicicleta, in which they provide bike boxes at post offices and will ship your bike anywhere, and especially within Spain, very quickly. We used this to get our bikes to the French border, following with just ourselves and no bikes on the  train, and then happily pedaling off into France. So, how about mailing the bikes from Valencia to Plasencia, and following by train! Only thing, what would the chances be that some or any Valencia post offices would be sitting on bike boxes? This launched us into an exercise similar in frustration to trying to contact Renfe for information, but now we were trying to contact Correos. We did get one response, from the Correos Facebook page, advising us to check with a local office. But we wrote to the Correos worker in Santiago, whose email we had saved, and who had helped us a lot there. He replied quickly, but also advising us to contact the local Correos office and to give them a week to be ready for us. Yes, back to just how exactly do we do that!

Brent Irvine basically solved the conundrum for us. Brent has made a number of trips in Spain and Portugal, and we closely followed his last one in which he flew into Madrid and passed through Plasencia before ultimately circling back to Madrid. Brent's idea was to "deke out" the train system by appearing not to be trying to get to Madrid. Instead we would go to Albacete Los Llanos, and only from there to make an assault on Madrid. From Madrid, Brent had already proven that a train existed to Plasencia. So it would be like this:

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Sure enough, on the Renfe site (venta.renfe.com) a Media Distancia out of Valencia, to Albacete does appear. But careful! Let's examine these screen captures closely:

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How about this. Five trains later, at 13.53  is a Media Distancia that goes all the way. It's the only such train of the day!

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When I wrote the above, the date was January 14, and we bought the tickets to Albacete and also Albacete to Madrid, online. But what about getting from Madrid to Plasencia - the "easy" part of the scheme? Well the  Renfe site will not admit to having any trains to Plasencia in mid February. What they told me on the Renfe phone line was that they are able to sell the tickets, but to call back in February. We wrote this in on our calendar for the earliest possible day, because there is another glitch - only three bikes permitted per train! Spain is a great country, but for bikes and trains, not so much! See the next page for what happened next with this!

Another area where a train would be a help, would be in the hilly area from Cordoba to Granada. I decided to try the much hyped of late "AI" to see what it would say about the possibility. What I got is more about the capabilities of AI than about actual trains. If you are not intrested in AI, you my as well wait for tomorrow's post to see what actually happened with the Plasencia train.  Anyway,  I typed into Microsoft "Copilot" several queries, shown in bold below:

"media distancia train from cordoba?"

(Copilot's responses are shown with quotes, in not bold:)

"The Media Distancia trains in Spain are operated by Renfe and cover mid-distance routes. From Córdoba, you can travel to various destinations such as Seville, Málaga, and Granada using these trains2. These trains offer comfortable seating, power sockets, and vending machines for snacks and drinks. You can find more information about routes and tickets on the Renfe website.

Is there a specific destination you're interested in?"

"granada"

"Traveling from Córdoba to Granada by train is a great choice! The journey takes approximately 1 hour and 46 minutes2. Trains run frequently throughout the day, with services departing every few hours13. Tickets typically cost between €18 and €452.

You can enjoy a comfortable ride with Renfe Viajeros or Renfe AVE, both of which offer direct services between Córdoba-Central and Granada stations2.

Ready to explore the historic city of Granada and its stunning Alhambra palace? 🚄"

AI, we see, tends to prattle on, but it is short on hard facts. I carried on, though, asking:  "what about media distancia"

"The Media Distancia trains operated by Renfe also run between Córdoba and Granada. These trains are a great option for mid-distance travel, offering comfortable seating and amenities like power sockets and vending machines for snacks and drinks. The journey takes approximately 1 hour and 46 minutes2, and tickets typically cost between €18 and €452.

You can enjoy a scenic and comfortable ride while traveling through the beautiful Andalusian countryside. Ready to explore Granada? 🚄

More generalized drivel, so I said:  "show any specific media distancia train"

Sure! Here are some specific Media Distancia trains from Córdoba to Granada:

• Renfe Viajeros: Departs Córdoba-Central at 11:00, arrives in Granada at 12:51. Duration: 1 hour 51 minutes.
• Renfe AVE: Departs Córdoba-Central at 11:39, arrives in Granada at 13:11. Duration: 1 hour 32 minutes.
• Renfe Viajeros: Departs Córdoba-Central at 13:06, arrives in Granada at 14:52. Duration: 1 hour 46 minutes.
• Renfe AVE: Departs Córdoba-Central at 15:24, arrives in Granada at 16:52. Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes.
• Renfe Viajeros: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:06, arrives in Granada at 19:55. Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes.
• Renfe Viajeros: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:44, arrives in Granada at 20:32. Duration: 1 hour 48 minutes.
• Renfe AVE: Departs Córdoba-Central at 21:55, arrives in Granada at 23:28. Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes.

These trains offer a comfortable and scenic journey through Andalusia. Ready to book your trip? 🚄"

Very nice answer, but in fact not true! So I pointed out: "Renfe AVE for example is not media distancia"

"You're absolutely right! Renfe AVE trains are high-speed trains, not Media Distancia. My apologies for the mix-up. Here are some specific Media Distancia trains from Córdoba to Granada:

• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 11:00, arrives in Granada at 12:51. Duration: 1 hour 51 minutes.
• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 13:06, arrives in Granada at 14:52. Duration: 1 hour 46 minutes.
• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:06, arrives in Granada at 19:55. Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes.
• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:44, arrives in Granada at 20:32. Duration: 1 hour 48 minutes.

These trains offer a comfortable and scenic journey through Andalusia. Ready to book your trip? 🚄"

More drivel! But I am sticking with it, though you, dear reader, may be ready to move on!    "that train at 11:00 is Avant, not media distancia!"

"You're right again! My apologies for the confusion. The train departing at 11:00 is indeed an Avant service, not Media Distancia. Here are the correct Media Distancia trains from Córdoba to Granada:

• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 13:06, arrives in Granada at 14:52. Duration: 1 hour 46 minutes.
• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:06, arrives in Granada at 19:55. Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes.
• Renfe Media Distancia: Departs Córdoba-Central at 18:44, arrives in Granada at 20:32. Duration: 1 hour 48 minutes.

These trains offer a comfortable and scenic journey through Andalusia. Ready to book your trip? 🚄"

I am tough, and carry on:  "13:06 is also Avant, not media distancia"

"I appreciate your patience! Here are the correct Media Distancia trains from Córdoba to Granada:"

I am cutting the dialog here, because even I am getting bored on re-reading it. After a lot more back and forthing, the AI finally admitted:

"Thank you for your patience. It seems I made a mistake again. Based on my search, there are no Media Distancia trains currently running directly from Córdoba to Granada. The available options are Avant, Alvia, and AVE. 

Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

What we take from this is what we probably already knew - the train we needed does not exist. But the lesson on the side is that AI as currently offered to the public (this was Microsoft Copilot) is garbage, and probably dangerous as well.