Keeping an online journal isn't easy you know. That's where I come in. JP's my name, and I'm on here every other weekend. Trying my best to present Sean, but what can I do.

KANE: ..like that dar baiegg, and the person will think I've said "bag". Then I'll say it in clear English "like that there bike"

But when best isn't good enough, there's Barry Best.

BEST: I smile because I'm glad to sit in a nice warm studio.

McCRAICKEN: Yes Barry, isn't it warm in here. Have you anything more interesting to add?

BEST: How about a metrological lessen. Not everybody will be aware, but.

McCRAICKEN: Okay. I think we, and our listeners get the picture. Sean's going to have a miserable time.

Think what you like about the program, but for goodness sake don't contact us like the following man did.

McCRAICKEN: from Richard Ballocksworth in morningswood. I can't make out the ending, so haven't a clue what it is (laugh) where he is, rather.

So if you've nothing better to do at the weekend, join me, Sean and Barry.

MARTHA (continuity announer): Well, you can catch up with JP next Saturday, the 29th of October. Now, The Photo Show, 7 Lake Patagonia Special. But first a map.