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EVER BEEN to a ferry terminal? Tired, confused people wondering where Lane 21 might be. Then that long wait with nothing to do but get annoyed with the kids in front who keep turning round to pull faces at you.

You think about a coffee, or just a wee, but you know you'll no sooner get there than they'll start loading your lane. Yours will then be the one stranded car that holds up everyone else. Or they won't have started loading cars but there'll now be so many more of them that you'll spend half an hour wandering around to see where you parked.

Got the picture?

OK, now imagine what it was like for Noah. They didn't have lanes then. They didn't even know about cranes, which meant a jumbo problem with the elephants. He and Mrs Noah had just started on them, getting the one at the back to hold the tail of the one in front, when the camels began treading on the beetles and someone had to be sent to find more. The sheep kept following everyone else about, the donkeys complained the mice were being loaded first even though they'd got there first and the lions kept saying they were hungry and they might make a start on the zebra if nobody did anything about it.

I bet Noah was glad when it started raining and everybody got a lot more enthusiastic about getting on the boat and into the dry. Except for the dolphins, of course, who were told just to swim along behind.

And that's what started all this.