March 6, 2020
M-M-M-My Corona: Virus, Not Beer
Last night Margaret, laying on the couch, announced: "Oh Gawd, I feel really, really sick right now."
The rest of the night, like a WW II oil tanker torpedoed by a U-Boat, she slowly took on water and slipped below the waves. Sickness led to fever, fever led to a higher fever, higher fever led to borderline incoherence, and then the hallmark image of Margaret declaring she is wretchedly ill .... putting on a knit cap AND pulling her hoodie up and way over her head. In this state she looks like a combination of Big City gangbanger and Grim Death.
Margaret NEVER gets sick. Her immune system is weapons grade level strong. So, on those rare occasions when she is clobbered with illness and completely out of commission it is a very unsettling thing to see. I'm a fairly attentive nurse when this happens, if you don't mind the incessant hand-wringing and pacing about. But WOW, Marg was sick! Before I helped her to bed I took her temperature and it was 102.1! In the middle of the night she went to use the restroom and called out to me to help get her navigate back to bed. She was on the verge of fainting I think, and I almost had to do a fireman's carry to get her situated.
But today she is feeling better. Not well, but better. She was recovered enough to participate in all the requisite jokes about the Coronavirus (I mean, you'd have to be near death to pass up that opportunity). I then applied both inductive and deductive methods of logic and concluded that my best options are to either not get sick AT ALL, or get sick AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, because if illness strikes somewhere in between those mileposts, I will either be curled up in the passenger seat of our car while Margaret drives 20 hours, or sweating in bed in a motel room in Utah while Margaret happily rides in the brilliant sunshine of the high desert. Margaret says her greatest fear is the first scenario, because she hates to drive and would miss out on some high quality knitting time if she has to do all the driving, so she's in full support of me getting sick NOW, or not at all.
So I am hydrating like a fiend, taking Vitamin C, L-Lysine, and thinking nothing but the most pure and chaste thoughts to fend off the flu. Light a candle for me friends.
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