July 20, 2023
Days C1-2: Time Off the Bike
Thurs July 20
The legs recovered fast, but the rest was sure needed. The day started with lounging at the swimming pool at my favorite guesthouse in Thailand. The thing is, it really did feel like I was coming home.
The service was amazing at the Sananwan and what astonished me was how the front desk staff remembered exactly what I ordered for breakfast all the way back from pre-covid days.
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This pattern would keep up with the next order of business. The bike was left behind, and I hopped on a motorcycle taxi then a regular taxi to reach the usual Thai Nakarin Hospital for a health checkup. Before I could even show my card the receptionist addressed me by name and she had remembered me! It is little touches like this that make a big difference and explain why Thailand is world famous for health and hospitality.
Unfortunately I had forgotten not to eat breakfast and so the blood tests had to be skipped for another day, but they could still do some basic health tests. Before covid I would do this twice a year. Now it was even more imperative to keep this up because there were more and more people in my circle who had chronic health conditions such as diabetes. Also, not to mention the fact that both my parents died from a stroke, I was rather worried. So the health checks and the fitness habits were going to be a consistent lifestyle thing.
That being done, the hospital offered a free lunch so why not.
Next I hopped in another taxi to Chachoengsao to meet my Muslim friends for a chat. I fell asleep in the taxi which shows how tired I was from everything. When I woke up, one of the bridges that the GPS had directed him on was taken out and he had to backtrack. I thought I was being kidnapped. In the end it was nothing.
We had a great chat with some light dinner by the riverside and once again I got the speech about how bad Thai people are mismanaging the condo. I was told, "It's not the Russian guy staying in your condo uninvited or the Argentine lady making a mess, it's the Thai people managing all that. They just think you're nice and don't know any better"
The good part is they passed me on a contact I had met in Pattaya many years earlier and he had bought a condo there himself. He was very familiar with the scene and much older than me so he would probably have a better lay of the land. Even so, I was told to be careful because there have been murders in the news lately. They don't go after tourists, they go after the mafia. But still, being careful is always a good idea. The plan is to bike there next week.
That done I got a bus back to outer Bangkok and continued the research for counseling services. A few more got back to me and the pattern seemed to be insisting on zoom calls. This did not appeal in the slightest. Here I am seeking counseling to deal with pandemic PTSD and they are offering sessions on zoom which is a PTSD trigger in itself. A complete fail. So that considerably narrowed down the search criteria. I did find one that responded in a relaxed manner. "When did you want to drop in?" Now that's promising.
Fri July 21
Fully fasted this time, I got up rather early for my second round of tests at the hospital. This time the motorcycle taxi drove like a maniac through the morning rush hour. It was a scene I rarely experience near Bangkok and was just shocked at how bad the traffic was. Next was a local taxi to the hospital but he hadn't a clue where he was going so I had to direct him with the GPS. He picked the most congested routes on the side of the highway. This actually worked in my favor because he stopped short of the hospital and there happened to be a Bangkok Bank. I smiled and laughed at the situation, he smiled back and I gave him a tip.
But first, the appointment. After all the blood tests, I met with the doctor and she gave me an excellent bill of health. There was nothing abnormal, and everything was in top condition. This really made my day actually. It offered solid medical proof that all the fitness pillar of minimalist philosophy actually works. The only advice I had from the doctor was to drink more water and lay off the salty food.
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I owe a big thanks to the guesthouse owner of the Sananwan for introducing me to this hospital. It isn't far away, and she uses it frequently for her own appointments. The staff speak reasonable English and combined with my basic Thai it totally works. I keep coming back every year and have been more than satisfied with the service and the prices.
Another minor success was being able to read 5 pages of a book while waiting for the results. It might not sound like much, but any small opportunity to get off social media and start reading was a win.
Since Bangkok Bank was literally next door, that would be the next mission. For starters I would exchange the last $100 bill that never got changed in Laos. That done, I realized I had my old bank passbook along with an expired debit card from 2021. I asked the teller if they could look into this. She said, "Sorry the account is closed." Apparently they close down dormant accounts very quickly around here. Never mind it expired during covid. Reopening the account would be a nightmare. This was confirmed when she said, "We can't reopen because of your passport stamp, you need to be on a visa." As for what kind of visa, who knows. The only reason I could pull this off earlier was because I had a condo ownership document. That would have to be tried again in Pattaya.
This was a disappointment but not entirely unexpected. I had better success reinstating expired accounts in Canada and the USA. Thailand would just ne a harder nut to crack. But the bank account issue dogs a lot of people: you need 800,000 baht in a Thai bank account to apply for a retirement visa but you need a visa to apply for a bank account. Good luck with this one.
While this setback didn't ruin my day or take away any happiness from the hospital success, it was still annoying. I need the account for safety reasons once the condo is sold. That was the whole point of opening an account in the first place.
The bank was still good for one more thing. I had brought along a box of 5 and 10 baht coins, and this would be a perfect chance to annoy the teller after this bad news. They insisted that I first seperate the coins and make 100 baht piles into small plastic bags each. Thanks to the pre-separation this was no big deal. Still I gave up after 800 baht. It was becoming obvious that she was getting increasingly annoyed with this transaction. This only confirmed it was the right call earlier to have dumped the one baht coins very gradually at 7/11s and Cafe Amazons along the earlier bike route and not opted for the banks.
With nothing else to do for now, I got a local bus back to Home Pro. This was the kind where you bounce off your seat over every bump and roll. I loved every second of it. Then on the walkway across the busy motorway, I spied some mobile phone cases. The vendor was being a complete jackass putting on his mask every time I asked him a question, so I went to the next stall. These guys were the polar opposite, super friendly and joking, not wearing any fucking masks. So I bought a hat and sunglasses off them for 200 baht. There was a good chance to practice Thai and they wished me good luck.
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Next was a whole afternoon chilling by the pool before setting out again for a fitness class.
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Chilling by the poolside just validated the reasons why I always pick this place. All along with these errands, the people had been really nice to me, I didn't get ripped off once, and fellow farang were few and far between. The ones that hang out at this guesthouse are all super smart, including the guy I met two days ago who said so many things I had a hard time digesting all the information.
Night of Fri July 21
This is not your typical cycle tourist blog where you wonder what people left out of it. As I mentioned before, minimalist philosphy is all about details.
So I took the usual cornucoppia of public transit into the city and found, much to my dismay, that the F45 group fitness gym had moved location from the last time 3 years ago. It was 900 meters down the street. There was still a chance I could make the class on time. They time everything by the second so you can't be late.
After reorienting myself, I ended up running on the street and running red lights in order to make my fitness class on time. Call it a warmup. When I ran into the place, I was gobsmacked. The elevator was on the bottom floor of a food court with a massive supermarket. At the top I found a spa and a Thai massage but that would have to wait because now it was 20 seconds before class would start.
The fitness gym was down a long corridor and I ran there to arrive in 5 seconds before the class started. There were two trainers, the lead guy and the assistant Thai girl who was working the front desk as well as doing demos. When it comes to this gym, these people are fit! I was given a quick introduction then was told to grab a sweat towel and listen to the workout demo.
As it turned out, the trainer was a hardass. The facilities were the best in the world no doubt along with a killer sound system. The music was thumping and pumping the enitre time just like on my bike rides. In fact he probably used the same mixes. The first lap of 10 stations went by fast. I didn't find it too difficult, as it was a mix of cardio and strength and was surprised how my body was able to do this after a few weeks off. I was treating it like an adventure basically as I had no idea what the workout was ahead of time.
But he then yelled at the group, "That first lap was no good guys. Really terrible actually. I saw some of you starting the sets 5 seconds late and not working hard. You better pick it up the next lap. If that happens again, everyone is doing burpees in the hydration break"
That was not me, I was going full on the entire time. My partner even said, "Holy shit man, you don't stop. You go for the entire 40 seconds." Well yeah, that's what the programming is for this workout.
Everything changed on the 2nd and 3rd lap. I thought I was going to die. I pushed to the limit to get all the reps possible in the time allotted and I was gasping for air. During the transitions I could see that everyone else had extremely red faces and looked like they were dying too. The trainer said "I'm giving you 10 seconds more in the hydration break so you better damn well earn it."
By the time it was the 4th lap I had no idea where the energy came from. It was the exact same kind of motivation that had me push through the worst of the cycling in Isaan with headwinds to get over the hill and into the more developed areas of Thailand. I knew there would be rewards after the fact.
When the suffering was over my partner said, "You kicked ass bro, let's work out again." I then had a chance to properly talk to the trainer assistant and get a tour of the place. The facilities were truly world class. You had free sweat towels, lavish shower facilities, massive space, and a killer sound system.
Next was going to the supermarket to buy a bottle of Soju. I then took the BTS to an Internations party, making sure to drink the Soju first and dispose of the bottle. That was a good call because the security guard searched my bag and said, "You can't bring any water into the club." Well there was no water at all genius. He patted me on the shoulder and let me in.
Once at the party I signed in and the hosts were from Canada. We both agreed that Bangkok weather was superior. I asked, "Is there anywhere I can put my stuff?" She said, "Yes you can put it here but we aren't responsible." I said, "Fine it's no big deal." And of course I had left all my valuables behind at the guesthouse. She just laughed said, "That's good, I also left my stuff here too."
They gave me a welcome drink then I walked around to get the lay of the land. First guy I met from France was working in Vietnam and about to catch a flight at 6am the next day so he wouldn't be sticking around. I then met an Indian guy and we talked a bit about past travels in the south of his country. But I wasn't so much interested in the conversation as I was the food. I had been so fucking starving from the workout and there were no opportunites to eat along the way except for some fruit on the street. I was hoping that food could be found at the party.
There was food indeed, and the Indian guy was the gatekeeper. While the conversation kept flowing he offered me some snacks and I just about died and went to heaven. Then for whatever reason, this Indian bro was usurped by an American who used to work in Hong Kong. This guy happened to be both a fitness and party king so we completely connected. He just worked the room and talked with basically anyone. I followed along and we were introduced to a South African woman and her Thai friend. After a bit of chat, he ordered a huge snack platter for 1000 baht and treated all of us. I couldn't believe my eyes. We then kept the dancing going and I ordered a couple more beers for the group on the next round. As it turned out, the Thai woman and her South African friend had been in Capetown during the pandemic and ways to break all the covid rules and go clubbing anyway. This was intriguing.
Later I went to the bathroom and came back to be hijacked by a Russian guy smoking weed and drunk out of his mind. He put his arm around my shoulder and tried to be my friend.
The bartender made a gesture to me that this guy was mentally ill. I walked around to the other side of the bar and ordered another beer, and the bartender followed me. He clapped his hands many times and offered a Thai wai, and said, "You made a good move, I am going to call security. He is not one of the members of your group". He was correct I said, "That is a good idea, yes call security. I want this guy out of here too." Security did come and ousted his ass from the bar.
I got a discount on the next drink as a result of all that and the fun kept on happening. At the same time, I knew I had to leave to get back to my guesthouse. So I walked to the BTS, took that to a place where I could queue for a regular taxi (it was raining), and then take a motorcycle taxi for the last leg. The rain was severe at this point, but it was the only way home. I managed the whole transport for 200 baht and the other 800 baht I had budgeted for drinks so all went perfectly well.
Of course I was still starving on arrival but the guesthouse fixed that with a Phad Thai.
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