Coming Home

July 29, 2017 to July 30, 2017

Back in the hotel, I fell into the first real bed I'd been in for two weeks and slept the sleep of the dead. I got up late, and spent about the happiest two hours of my life just sitting in the breakfast buffet and eating, eating, eating. They had a waffle iron: enough said.

Unfortunately I had to get going some time. My sailing was not early - 2pm - and left from Oslo city centre, so it wasn't much of a worry to get there. I slowly pedalled my way down to the harbour - unfortunately getting rather wet as the rain was really coming down. I did the usual slightly awkward thing of cycling up the huge lanes designed for car and truck traffic, and got a look of some sympathy (I really did look like a drowned rat) as I was issued my ticket.

I still had a bit of a wait to board. Fortunately the rain stopped, and I could amuse myself with taking photos of port staff riding around on little scooters. It's one way to make yourself look 20 years younger!

Waiting for our ferry - or rather cruise ship - the "Color Magic", behind

Looking out over Oslo harbour. So many yachts!

Bye bye Oslo - I hadn't really done the city justice

We were soon underway, and since I was doing my usual practice of staying stubbornly on deck, was rather pleased that the sun came out. We passed down the Oslofjord, which is pretty (but not really in the same league as the great fjords of the West coast) and past the fortress island of Bastøy. I was reading at the time Antony Beevor's account of the invasion of Norway during WWII, and it was at this island the invaders were heroically kept from proceeding up the fjord, giving the Norwegians enough time to evacuate much of the state apparatus from the capital.

Lots of sailing boats were about. Some of them waved to us.

Fortress island of Bastøy, guarding the entrance of the fjord

As we entered the open sea and there was less to see, I decided to explore the ship. My crossing, even with just a bike, had been uniquely expensive - a couple of hundred pounds, which I could only really justify since all the others had been so cheap - but it soon became clear why. Really this is a fully-functioning cruise ship, and is generally used by Norwegians taking a mini-break to Germany and back and to enjoy cheap booze along the way.

The main shopping area takes up a whole deck, and is really a sort of street. I was reminded of nothing so much as the "Venetian" in Las Vegas, where you go into a concrete casino in the middle of the desert - and there's an indoor canal. There were three restaurants, pubs and all sorts. Truly surreal. But the food and drink were surprisingly cheap and good - I had a very good pizza and beer in the Italian place for lunch, and then worked my way down to the "cabaret", where a (to me) incomprehensible routine was being performed by some clowns

The "high street" on board the Color Magic

Norwegian clowns, the most professional in the business

The fancy restaurant on board. I did not eat here.

I went up to the deck restaurant, had more coffee, then in the afternoon returned to the cabaret for another round - of singing and dancing this time, with lots of high-camp songs (including some dancing oil rig roustabouts to symbolise Norway). The place was packed, and with some more cheap beer I thoroughly enjoyed this. A couple of the Norwegian passengers were already well lubricated, and I had the amusing sight of very drunk man trying to order a complicated mixed drink during the middle of the show, while the bartender rather blatantly rolled his eyes towards me. He seemed happy when I just wanted another beer...

After that it was back to the Italian restaurant for another pizza, my second in two hours. I was served by the same waitress at the same table, and thought I should probably explain my massive calorie intake. I just couldn't stop eating! I then went and sat in the "pub" for a while, which was actually a weirdly quite pleasant environment. About 8pm I really was exhausted, and after a bit of a read in the wood-panelled "library" took myself off to bed.

We were due to arrive in Kiel nice and late, and I then had a couple of hours to get to the train to take me back to the West, so it was a nice relaxed start. Given my experiences transporting the bike by train on the way out, and my knowledge that the last cycling stretch back to Hoek in time to catch the ferry home in England might be tight, I was glad to relax at this juncture.

The skyline of Kiel. It seems nice enough, if a little gritty

Crazy long forks on one of the Norwegian bikers

I retrieved the shift, and accompanied a German couple returning home to Kiel out into the centre, I found the station with no trouble, and stocked up on some provisions for the long journey back.

So what of the train odyssey in reverse? Well, it all went much smoother. The trains and stations were much emptier, and I now knew the drill much better for crossing the border on the international train. Back to Hamburg I went, and from there entirely reversed my journey: so back through Osnabrück and Amersfoort. In fact it went so smoothly that I don't have any distinct memory of the journey - I think I spent much of the time lolling and feeling thankful it wasn't as stressful as the journey out.

It was only at Amersfoort, back in the Netherlands, when I started to wake up again. I knew I had a pretty limited time (about 90 minutes) to get to the ferry from the station, and that it would be a similar 15-16 mile ride. The fact that I had got rather lost in the other direction did not aid confidence.

I decided to buy some snacks for energy in the station, and while doing so got chatting to another Dutch tourer, also returning to Den Haag. He had been cycling to Berlin (and apparently had been rained on fairly continuously) - so we swapped some stories in the bike van, and he (and a Dutch lady who spoke no English, so he acted as translator) gave me some tips on the fastest route to Hoek from the city.

We pulled into Den Haag right on time, and I shot out of the station and into the city. I actually picked up signs to the place name he had mentioned right away, and instead of trying to work my way along the coast like before, set straight out of town to the South West on good bike paths alongside the main road.

I had over 20km to go, and despite the rather vicious headwind blowing off the sea, started to make good progress. It was exhausting though; I didn't have much stamina left, and it was a great psychological effort to keep pushing against the wind. I continued past endless green-houses until in Poeldijk I picked up more signs to Monster and Den Haag, and decided to head back to the coast to be sure of the last stretch. Once I reached the dunes, the wind really hit me - it was really blasting off the sea.

I had to keep going though - I had no desire to try to camp anywhere along this coast where every square inch is a greenhouse, and didn't much fancy heading back into the towns to look for a hotel at 10pm. As I rounded the headland and came into Hoek, I could see that I should make it: I was 45min before ferry departure, which should be fine for bikes. As I showed my booking form to the check-in booth, it was blowing so hard I could barely keep hold of it

Sunset over Hoek and a well-earned drink

I watched the sunset while re-hydrating myself with a beer, and then had a final ferry meal in the now-deserted restaurant (it was about 10.30pm).

Today's ride: 15 miles (24 km)
Total: 830 miles (1,336 km)

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