WEBSTER CITY, IOWA: Survival Isn't So Difficult In The Danger Zone

September 13, 2018

Ya know, if a town is really all that scenic, it shouldn't have to promote the fact on a water tower. It's kind of like the water tower on the west end of my home town. It reads "HISTORIC HASTINGS" which seems a bit misleading considering it rises above the historic high school, the historic Dakota County administrative complex, and the historic WalMart--all built within the last 20 years. Just one man's opinion, I guess.

Against my better judgement, I explored Iowa Falls anyway since I had a relatively short day ahead of me. To my surprise, the town IS fairly scenic thanks primarily to the Iowa River.

This was very pleasing to the eye--and my eye needed something pleasing at this early hour of 9:00 a.m.

I'm willing to bet every possession loaded on The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong that those waterfalls are NOT natural.

This swinging bridge over the Iowa River is famous all over the northern part of the central part of north central Iowa. I crossed it.

I suppose you could say my sightseeing excursion was simply a way to delay the inevitable task ahead of me. That's right, today will be a major crossroad in my life, and that's assuming my life is destined to go on long enough to have a crossroad. You see, today is the day I must ride into the most dangerous bicycling city of my entire trip--THE THIRD MOST DANGEROUS CITY IN THE UNITED STATES AFTER ONLY LOS ANGELES AND NEW YORK CITY.

It was time to get this thing over with. I was intent on debunking this myth, I really was, but I admit to some trepidation. Five miles into the ride my bladder started feeling nervous, so I had to make a stop at the great outdoor restroom.

Looking out from my 40-acre bathroom stall.

Today's route was a little busier than yesterday's in terms of car and truck traffic. Nevertheless, I have to compliment the behavior of Iowa drivers. Over the last three days they have moved over for me every time. EVERY TIME! I know this because I always swear at cars that don't give me enough room, and I haven't had to swear even ONCE on this trip.

Today's route was also the flattest one so far. I may be in grave danger, but at least I'm not expending too much energy to get there. The fairly strong crosswinds from the south have mostly been a minor annoyance up to this point, but if they keep up tomorrow when I have to turn south, they will become a MAJOR annoyance and I will not be so cordial toward Iowa.

Here are a few more scenes from my day:

I think these buildings have seen better days.

While it's true that I haven't met very many people so far, I HAVE made friends with hundreds of farm animals.

Here's a windmill farm beyond a soybean field. Almost EVERYTHING is beyond a soybean field or a corn field in Iowa.

Eventually I reached the dreaded nightmare of a town. Sandwiched between dangerous mega-cities with populations of several million people is lowly Webster City. I knew it was going to be a horror worse than anything Edgar Allen Poe or Quentin Tarantino ever dreamed of, but I was prepared to endure the pain and suffering in order to debunk that crazy Iowa myth. There was no use turning back at this point. I hope you're ready for this.

"Why can't they just be honest and say, 'Welcome To Webster City: Bike-Hating Country.'"

I don't know . . . it just looks like Main Street USA to me.

Today's ride: 39 miles (63 km)
Total: 383 miles (616 km)

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