September 10, 2021
How I Was Able To Ride Twenty Miles To A Destination That Was Only Seven Miles Away
Hell's Gate State Park
I suppose you want to read about the longest conversation I've had in the last four days with somebody other than myself. I guess I can accommodate your request.
It took place last night when I checked in at the Holiday Inn. It went something like this:
"I have a reservation for tonight under the name Garceau."
"Okay, let me just pull it up here," said the young gal as she started typing some stuff on her computer. (When I say "young gal" I mean something like 25 or 30.)
"No problem."
"Okay, are you Gregory?"
"That's right."
"And you'll be staying for one night?
"That's right."
"I have a room that faces the river if you'd like."
"Is that room more expensive?"
"No. Same price."
"Sure, bring it on!" I said. (And I wondered if she's ever had someone reply, "Then I don't want it. I want to pay more. I don't need your charity, and I don't care about that river and its canyon at all.")
"Okay, you'll be in room 109. All I need is your ID and your credit card."
I had them ready to go because I've done this a time or two.
"Oh, you're from Minnesota? I used to live there."
"Really? Where in Minnesota?"
"Just a little town way up north called Baudette."
"Yeah, I know where that is."
"The thing I always remember about Minnesota is the winters and the ice fishing. You probably know about that."
"Well, I'm not a fisherman, but I do know about the winters. And there are a lot of other things to like about Minnesota too."
"Oh, definitely," and almost without pause she added, "I just need you to initial this form saying you have no pets, you will follow the no-smoking policy, and you agree with the rate. Then fill in your vehicle make and model and the license plate number, and (here comes the best part) if you don't have a vehicle, that's okay."
"As a matter of fact," I said with surprise, "I DON'T have a vehicle. I have a bicycle."
"I know," she answered while pointing toward the sliding doors, outside of which was The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong leaning against a brick pillar.
"Ah, very perceptive," I joked as she gave me my room key.
That conversation was pretty mundane, eh? Keep that in mind next time you agree to read one of my indulgent dialogues . . . and be happy it wasn't a lot longer.
But here's the reason I typed out that whole thing. The punchline, if you will.
After entering my room, I pulled open the curtains and I immediately felt like I had been duped. Technically, it did face the river. But I couldn't actually SEE the river. I didn't complain though.
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My plan for today was to cross the border into Idaho and camp at Hell's Gate State Park for the night. It's just a few miles south of one of my tour's Holy Cities -- Lewiston -- and it fits right into my Holy Land theme when you can go from a holy city to a park that has the word "Hell" in its name.
By the most direct route, Hell's Gate State Park would have been no more than a seven mile ride. Seven miles simply won't do. I decided to ride a little further along the Washington side of the Snake River, down to the town of Asotin. Then I'd turn around and cross the Snake River from Clarkston to Lewiston. GREAT PLAN!
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McMansions, another thing that baffles me. If you’re going to spend that much money on a house, why not pay an architect to design one? The one with the balconies looks like a motel. There are far better examples of American architecture than that. Just look at the lovely downtown buildings a few photos later on this page.
Cheers,
Keith
3 years ago
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The side trail that took me up to the bridge was the most painful climb of the trip. Luckily it was only about a hundred feet long, but my lungs were still ready to burst open. It levelled off at the entrance to the bridge so I was able to regain my composure for the all-important border sign picture.
I was hoping to be able to buy some food nearby, but a quick look at Google Maps informed me I'd have to climb away from the river for about 20 blocks to get to the nearest grocery store. I was up to the task.
I found a grocery cart corral for me to lock my bike to and started my shopping. After wandering around the store for about 15 minutes, looking for something interesting to cook at my campsite, I suddenly had a sense of dread. "Damn, I can't remember actually locking my bike!"
Thank the god of the Church of the Great Outdoors that my bike and all of its contents were still there.
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It was an easy six mile ride from WinCo Foods to the state park. The park rangers were hard-asses about letting me check in before the 2:00 check-in time, but I didn't want to fight with them over a measly half-hour. I sat outside and engaged in two conversations that were even longer than the one at the beginning of this page. Would you like to read about them?
I wouldn't do that to you. I'll simply say that one of them involved a couple who were repairing a flat tire on one of their mountain bikes. They ran into a lot of goat head thorns on the park's trails. They asked if I had a patch kit they could borrow. When I produced it, they offered me money. Of course, I refused. If I keep up that kind of generosity it's going to be a long time before I'll be able to amass enough money to buy one of those houses up above the Snake River.
When the hard-asses finally let me register, I got one of the last campsites available in this huge campground. Then I prepared for my annual bike touring review of a local wine.
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As the 10 or so loyal readers of my bike touring journals know, I've written seven previous reviews of wines purchased locally while on bike tours. Plus, I have tasted more than 40 different wines in my lifetime. I guess that makes me kind of a wine expert.
This time, I'm going to try something a little different. Nobody pays attention to written food and wine reviews anymore. People want to SEE the celebrity chefs and oenophiles talking about food and wine and I'm a man of the people. Video is the way to go.
It involves a wine I purchased at the Winco store. I was looking for an Idaho wine and I thought I found one. But there seemed to be some contradictory information on the bottle.
Whatever it is, here's my review:
Today's ride: 20 miles (32 km)
Total: 147 miles (237 km)
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| Comment on this entry | Comment | 12 |
3 years ago
Laughed my butt off at the wine review. I’m still chuckling to myself. It appears as though you might need a few pointers to avoid such an unpleasant experience again.
1. Smelling the cork. Does it smell like wine or something else? If it doesn’t smell like a wine you’d like to drink, be wary! Corked wine is due to a nasty bacterium that sometimes grows in corks a gives wine a terrible taste. Once you’ve tasted it, you’ll never forget it, it’s that bad.
2. Swirling. The reason for this is to coat the walls of the glass with a little wine so it will evaporate and produce more odors. Swirl, then smell is the rule here. If the odors are pleasant, drink. If not, well, you proceed at your own risk. Some winemakers are not careful at selecting their grapes, pick ‘em and squeeze if you will. Not all grapes on a bunch ripen at the same time, so you might get some off flavors (and smells). Also poor winemakers are generally not scrupulously clean in their cellars. This allows “bad” yeasts to get into the wine, producing what are called “foxy” odors. Yuck, not yum.
3. Take a small sip. Slurp in some oxygen and swirl it around in your mouth. Good? Then sit back and enjoy.
As a further note, white wine is far easier to make than red wine. If a winemaker can’t make a good white, his reds will be terrible. And if he doesn’t even know what state he’s in, what can you expect? I checked by the way. The winery is in Idaho. They say their vines are in the Palouse. You would know better than me what that means.
By the way, I’m laughing at your presentation, not your experience. But thanks for taking one for the team.
Cheers,
Keith
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As you probably already know, the video was just a bit of satire. There was really nothing wrong with the taste -- but then my palate doesn't really have enough experience to know if it was a good wine or not. All I know is that I continued to drink it afterward.
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