While I wait for a medical miracle, an anecdote...

All communities have to make the most of what they have. If they haven't got an Eiffel Tower they can't boast of one.

Pittsburg, Kansas, doesn't have an Eiffel Tower. Or much else. Attractions offered in the city's guide for visitors include "Big Brutus - the world's second-largest electric mining shovel". Note the "second-largest" and the suggestion that non-electrical shovels may turn out larger.

Then there is the Veterans' Wall at nearby Girard, just like the famous one... but only half the size. All the names of the fallen are on it but the short-sighted should remember their glasses.

Still, Girard does have "one of" the world's largest American flags. I love not only the "one of" but that bit about the "world's largest", which sounds impressive until you remember that 99.9 per cent of American flags are probably within America itself.

And it's only "one of the largest". And as with the almost-biggest mining shovel, there's no suggestion where the real thing might be.

Perhaps this explains why the big flag is called simply The Big Flag. Anyway, since you're itching to know, it is 30 feet by 60 and "while you can see (it) from your vehicle, you really must stand under the Big Flag to appreciate its true size."

Now, I haven't been unkind and picked all this from the end of a long list that started with something good. These are the first three visitor attractions recommended by the Crawford County (in which Pittsburg stands) visitor guide.

To it, I am grateful for information that Crawford County is "the heart of America" and "home to several nationally-known treasures, like Big Brutus, the world's best fried chicken, and Pittsburg State University."

It takes a special sense of pride, don't you think, to place a fried chicken ahead of a university?