TO BEGIN AGAIN

A lot of people, all over the world, have had a very difficult two and a half years.  Maybe a lot of us are now re-energized and ready to change things up, do things differently from the way we were doing them, view our lives and the world with new eyes and ready to begin again.   

Andrea and I were very careful in regards to Covid and we were fortunate to not have caught it (yet).  But in the midst of the pandemic (July 2021) I was up on a ladder - it slid and I fell.  That damn gravity thing!  I first hit the top of a wood fence and then I hit the ground hard fracturing four vertebrae and six ribs.  Up to that point I had never been seriously injured or spent a night in a hospital but I was in the ICU for five nights with surgeons coming and going, questioning me about my lifestyle, analysing x-rays and trying to decide if they should operate on my back or not.  I remember their brisk strides in and out of my room, their white lab coat tails swishing as they entered and exited.  I remember the outstanding care I had from all the nurses and Andrea bringing me anything I wanted from home and simply being with me for hours and hours, days, nights.  I remember the fuzzy fleece blanket she brought to keep me warm and discovering a whisker on it; our beloved cat Pinkie's whisker.  It had been her favorite blanket before her life was taken by a coyote three years earlier.  Inadvertently she had left me a final little gift, which, when finally found, I had the time to marvel at its beauty.  

I remember surprisingly delicious hospital food!  Seriously!  I remember the pain that Andrea told me made my face ashen.  I remember a lot from those awful days and nights in the ICU and fortunately I don't remember a lot either.  I do remember being optimistic because.....why not?  I honestly think that in the end it was a positive attitude that convinced the surgeons I would heal on my own.  At least I wanted a shot at it instead of surgery.

Then there was the fitting of a custom-made, hard plastic, 'turtle shell' I had to wear for three months!  After that, physical therapy.  

My physical therapist was the best healer of all.   At my initial session with her I said, "I know I won't ever be the same but...." and she stopped me there.   She told me that if I did certain exercises and really worked at it I could not only get back to normal but I could be even better than I had been before the accident!   She was completely convinced of it and therefore quite convincing.  What a gift to have someone be so positive!  She truly believed in the ability of the human body to heal.  She was right and I can't thank her enough.

Now, fifteen months later, I feel as though my back is as good as it was and even on its way to be better than it was before the accident.  I, frankly, am rather amazed by the progress.  

In our last bike journal I talked a lot about luck and how it has always been an integral part of my life.  It continues but I also said that I don't believe luck just happens - one must help luck to take control.  Granted, I was lucky my spinal cord was not severed.  It was oh so close, the doctors told me. And when I hit the ground my head was an inch or two from a large rock.  That's pure luck.  And I think I was lucky to have such good care all along the way of my healing process.  I don't know how I could have done it without Andrea taking care of me at home for months.  But I firmly believe that a positive attitude towards healing, to some extent, forces luck to happen.

Of course I was not so lucky to have fallen from a ladder but it also means that I am lucky enough to own a house to lean a ladder against.  My mistake was that I was trying to rush.  

As you can tell, my accident was very traumatic and I even experienced a period of PTSD,  when I was continuously reliving the fall in detail - very upsetting.  But there again I was lucky to be able to turn it off and convince my brain to not go there anymore.   

I don't take my recovery for granted.  I will never forget the first time I got on my bike, still wearing the turtle shell, to see if I could ride again.  I was thrilled and sort of amazed that there was no pain.  Now, just over a year after the accident, I am again amazed that I am about to embark on another bike trip in SE Asia. I'm sure that each morning I will wake and thank my lucky stars.  We will have a delicious breakfast (because we always do in Thailand) and then we will get on our bikes and take a little ride not really knowing where we will end up by late afternoon.  Each day is always a new beginning but this time I have the feeling they will have even more meaning.   

lovebruce

Heart

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