Peeing in the Dark: A Research Report

November 20, 2013

No, this title is not a typo. Rather, having already acquired every bit of gear known to man, we moved today into a bit only known to woman.

What we are talking about is how to pee when trapped in the tent, maybe just by the dark, or more likely by dark and rain. If you are a man, it's more or less easy to stay under the shelter of the tent and direct the fluid outside. But a lady...

Here is where the enterprising camping gear people are offering various forms of supplementary plumbing. Actually, they are all just a funnel and a (possibly extra cost) hose. The enterprising bit is the price - from $20-$30.

There are also some high tech design bits involved: The funnel can be rigid or flexible, and there are some artistic variations in shape.

At REI they offer only a rigid model, which they call (wait for it) the Sani-Fem Freshette Feminine Urinary Director. Now Freshette seems to recall our college days, or maybe a farmers' market in season. And a Urinary Director seems quite managerial. Overall, it should be a good product! We hope so, because this little bit of plastic costs $22.95.

Our product tester rejected it, though. Too rigid.

An entry in the flexible division is offered by MEC. This is the Whiz Freedom Urinary Aid. It seems like a bargain at $19.75, but then you also need the supplementary little tube, for $4.50. "Whiz Freedom" sounds attractive, though.

Another rigid one is the SheWee Urinating Device. This is a premium product, at $26.75. But given the name, it could be that it does the urinating for you, which could be good!

A brief glimmer of sanity flashed across the Grampies' radar, and we visited the supermarket, which offered a flexible funnel for $2.59. Though we already had the Sani-Fem on board, we felt the "urge" to give the supermarket a "shot".

Extensive testing ultimately gave the nod to Sani-Fem. The reason: if you have a down sleeping bag as we do, the game is too high stakes to use anything but the most advanced technology.

So that's the shape of it, folks. Do you think with 38 days until departure we have too much time on our hands?

Whiz Freedom left, supermarket entry right. The lady in the Whiz Freedom packaging sure looks free, but then she is not huddled in a tent in the rain. Note, to truly reach the septic field you would need a much longer hose. So another necessary part of the kit is a mug or jar. It will be important to label this (preferably not on the bottom) so its use is clear!

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