Bible-Thumper Harasses Gentleman Biker

May 28, 2015

Interstate State Park, Minnesota

After a nice break at home I am back on the road and it sure didn't take long to get into the swing of things. Within a mile-and-a-half I was crossing The Great American River for the last time on this tour. It has been my on-again, off-again companion for about 1,500 miles now. Parting really IS such sweet sorrow, as Mr. Shakespeare suggested, but my mission has always been to get to Lake Superior--not Lake Itasca--so part we must. At least I didn't cry. That would have betrayed my status as a tough guy. But I DID look back at Old Man River one more time as I pedaled up the Highway 61 bridge away from Hastings.

A mile later came another difficult farewell. Goodbye Highway 61, Hurricane Evacuation Route, Blues Highway, Great River Road, etc. I loved you even on those stretches where you had no nickname.

Then I roughly followed the St. Croix River northward, skirting the Minneapolis-St.Paul metro area, to Stillwater. Stillwater is one of Minnesota's oldest cities and a very busy little city it remains. It did a good job of developing its riverfront with nice shops and restaurants, and it is somewhat of an antique-lover's Mecca. Personally, I think antiques are mostly crappy junk, but this city proves there are many thousands of people who don't give a raccoon's ass about my opinion.

I cruised down Stillwater's busy Main Street and, by golly, I came upon the Maple Island Brewing Company. By now you know my rule about stopping at local breweries, so there's no sense in getting into that again.

Why the sour face? Because it's not open yet. What self-respecting taproom waits until noon before opening its doors for business? That's un-American!

Marine On St. Croix is a charming little town of about 700 people and it has an even more charming General Store. For $7.99 I got today's lunch special of two Reuben sliders and a side of wasabi coleslaw. I was enjoying the hell out of it on a bench outside the store when a woman of about 80 years of age asked about my bike tour.

I gave her the brief version, which goes something like this: "I started in New Orleans and in a few days I'll end somewhere on Lake Superior."

"Ohhhhhhh, that is WONDERFUL!" she exclaimed. "God bless you!"

"Thank you," I replied. Oh, if only she could have left it at that.

"And I ASSUME you're a Christian?"

Uh oh. Whether I am or not, I was sure I was not HER kind of Christian. I tried to think of a polite way to tell an 80-year old fundamentalist that, like Joseph Smith, I invented my own religion, but instead I answered her diplomatically. "Well, I was raised in the Catholic Church."

"That's OK, at least you had a good start," she said while I cringed, "but remember that when you die, and you want to get into heaven, God can say 'Why should I let you into my home? I don't even know you.'" She said it with a big, irritating smile on her face.

I digested that for a second and, with great restraint, I replied, "Ah yes. Very good. Thank you."

My next discovery was the Franconia Sculpture Park. It wasn't exactly a discovery though because I've driven by it before, but I didn't stop because I thought it was just a tourist trap. Today I learned it is associated with the Metropolitan Arts Council and there is no admission fee. That's all I needed to know.

Let me just say right now that it was fun, fantastic, and cool in a hipster kind of way. And while I admit I'm getting old, I still consider myself to be pretty hip. Anyway, the following pictures show some of my favorite artistic pieces at the park.

I've seen lounge lizards but never a Lizard Lounge.

This one looks somewhat like the kitchen in my first apartment after I graduated from college.

I remember a similar creature from an episode of "Jonny Quest."

This one is my personal favorite: A reclaimed, dilapidated shed suspended in air. Now THAT's hip.

If I were to give this piece a title it would be: "Three semi-human dudes just sittin' around contemplating stuff."

Today's ride: 56 miles (90 km)
Total: 1,649 miles (2,654 km)

Rate this entry's writing	Heart	6
Comment on this entry	Comment	0