American Dreamer

An Old West Introduction

HOWDY PARDNER! Greg here. Pleased to meet'chya, and I can't thank ya enough for takin' a gander at my journal. For the purposes of this bike trip, you can call me Cowboy Greg. I'll be a-ridin' and a-bumblin' my way through the wide-open spaces of Kansas and maybe a bit of Oklahoma. The tour will include plains, prairies, grasslands, millions of cows, and hundreds of miles of barbed wire fence--all within the confines of a big ol' loop.

Unfortunately, I can't post a specific route at this time because I don't have one. Given my aversion to plannin' ahead, I probably won't come up with a route until shortly before I hope to start ridin'. If all goes well, that should be in early May. For now, you'll have to settle for a picture of Kansas, courtesy of Rand-McNally.

All I know for sure is that my route will definitely include the view-blockerless Flint Hills region and the epicenter of cowboy country, Dodge City.

Now don't go thinkin' this ersatz cowboy has gone plumb crazy. And don't go accusin' me of goin' out of my way to pick ANOTHER one of the most borin' places in the United States of A. to go cycle ridin'. Naw, I'm just aimin' to prove that NO PLACE ON EARTH IS BORIN' as long as you are pedalin' a bike and appreciatin' the Church of the Great Outdoors.

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I have a pretty clear picture of how my tour is going to go -- at least how it's going to go in the nostalgic backroads of my mind. For three or four weeks, I'll be the bike ridin' star of my own cowboy movie, and the script will be written as I go. In my imagination, I envision classic scenes like these:

ME, ridin' off into orange sunsets.
ME, bein' a tough guy, but a tough guy with a heart of gold.
ME, pickin' up supplies at general stores and loadin' 'em into my dusty saddle bags.
ME, ridin' down the main streets of little towns as the locals eye me up with fear and suspicion.
ME, cookin' my chow before beddin' down in my Great Plains camp.
ME, dozin' off under the stars to the distant howlin' of coyotes and hootin' of owls.
ME, occasionally gettin' some shuteye at a little hotel, located in a civilized town, where I'll venture out for a meal at an eatery that's owned by the local widow who's tryin' her best to make ends meet.
ME, lockin' my bike to a wooden post outside a saloon, where I'll crash through the swinging doors, swagger up to the bar, and say "Gimme a whiskey . . . and leave the bottle." Then I might join a poker game with a bunch of outlaws and get into a fist fight when one of 'em accuses me of cheatin'.

Of course, there could be the less glorious scene that features ME, dyin' of thirst in a dust storm and tryin' to suck the last drop of water from my canteen. Such scenes of incompetence and failure might be a little embarrassin', but they will not be left out of this screenplay just to save my dignity. (And considerin' the distances between towns in the Great Plains, the desperation-for-water scenario isn't as far-fetched as it might seem.)

Oh yeah, I know every cowboy movie cliche' out there. I've learned everything one needs to know about the old west from the movie industry: Shane, High Noon, High Plains Drifter, The Wild Bunch, True Grit (both versions), The Three Amigos, and the greatest western of them all, Blazing Saddles.

I look forward to playin' the ersatz cowboy on this tour, but there is one important feature that distinguishes me from other Hollywood cowboys. That is, I don't need no stinkin' horse. My mode of transportation is much less complicated. It has a name but it ain't Trigger or Silver or Diablo. No siree! My transport is named Son of Bing Bong (a direct descendant of The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong) and I will never refer to it as my trusty steed because it ain't a steed -- it's a BIKE. (It IS trustworthy though.) Nevertheless, I reckon Son of Bing Bong will serve me as well as any horse and it might even come to my rescue a time or two. In return, I won't shoot it if it ~~breaks a leg~~ gets a flat tire.

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There you have it -- I ain't nothin' if not a naive dreamer. But I ain't so out of touch with reality that I haven't heard the rumors that cowboy country ain't quite the same as it used to be. Things are different now. For one thing, people don't say "ain't" all that much anymore. And I'm likely to see many more cars & trucks than horses & stagecoaches. And gunslingers ain't likely to be ridin' into town to challenge me to a duel. (Which is a dang good thing because I'm kinda like another old cowboy movie character: the feckless newspaper reporter from a big city out east who is more interested in words than guns.)

I'll finish this page with a few inspirational quotes from the old west.

"Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals." -Butch Cassidy (*Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid*)

"Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy." -Josie Wales (*The Outlaw Josie Wales*)

"Dude, we're in way over our heads. We're gonna die out there!" -G-2 (Ersatz Cowboy Lassos the Wild West.)

"No, G-2, we're going to LIVE out there!" -Gregory S. Garceau (Ersatz Cowboy Lassos the Wild West)

Rate this entry's writing	Heart	15
Comment on this entry	Comment	11

Rachael AndersonYippee! An exciting new journal to read!
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3 years ago

Gregory GarceauThanks Rocky, but don't get too excited yet. October is a long way off.
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3 years ago

Bill ShaneyfeltGo for it G!
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4 days ago

Steve Miller/GrampiesWe really love your slightly tilted view of the world. Keep it up, and we will eagerly await the start of the actual tour.
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4 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Steve Miller/GrampiesOnly SLIGHTLY? I must be losing my edge.
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4 days ago

Nancy GrahamYeeHaa! The Buckaroo rides again. I will follow you and be a rootin’ for ya all the way.
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4 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Nancy GrahamThank you, Nancy. I hope Kansas provides me with lots of material for you to root for.
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4 days ago

Suzanne GibsonGiddy up, cowboy!
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3 days ago

George (Buddy) HallLooking forward to readin' this dime story novel cowboy adventure of your'n. I personally think Kansas is a gorgeous state to cycle, especially so if you favor very early morning starts. The Transam route through the eastern part of the state is worthwhile, gets you through the Flint Hills quite well, includes a hostel or 2 - just sayin' - and if you ride some of the western half on the shoulder of Highway 50, that's not bad either (there's traffic, but a wide shoulder) - you may need to use 50 some to reach Dodge. I made such a detour from the Transam in my 2025 journal. Kansas folks were all nice and accommodating, at least back then - that was before the country turned mean. You may also want to look at some of the previous Bike Across Kansas routes when you get around to research. Best of luck with your cowboy adventure. Oh, do be aware that quite a few cross-country cyclists riding the Transam (from either direction, doesn't matter) have abandoned their journey when they hit the reality of the heat and wind in Kansas. So Cowboy Up before you hit the trail!
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1 day ago

Gregory GarceauTo Suzanne GibsonThanks Suzanne. Giddyuppin' is in my nature, so no problem there.
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1 day ago

Gregory GarceauTo George (Buddy) HallThanks for the helpful tips, Buddy, especially the one about camping in town parks. I wasn't planning to ride any of the Trans-am route, but with that information I'll definitely give it due consideration. I prefer state park and national forest camping, but those opportunities are scarce in Kansas for the former (compared to my home state) and non-existent for the latter.

And I'll try to brace myself for the wind. At least it should be a warm wind compared to the 20-below-zero wind chill I rode through, for about 20 minutes, two days ago.
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1 day ago