The cliche proved to be true:   people travel to Thailand with the aim to 'find themselves'.  Whether or not that actually happens it doesn't really matter.  The main idea is that they know which country to go for this journey.

This trip had many missions and I daresay they've all been accomplished or in the process of finalizing completion.  I never really expected to finish so much in one trip.  If the condo got sold, well then great.  I was happy enough just to have made decent progress on that, so the sale was the icing on the cake.

There was a whole lot more:  the ongoing decluttering successes, getting the Montague back to its home in Thailand, continuing the fitness journey, setting future goals, and breaking out of my comfort zone by talking to as many people as I could and taking the initiative to do so.  

On a similar level, it would not be realistic to solve the midlife crisis I'm now in with just one trip.  Sadly, China has become unliveable due to the deteriorating political and economic situation.  Meanwhile I got married to a local during the pandemic.  Thus the act of "simply leaving China" is not that simple at all.  But the longer I stay in China, the worse it gets and the more I suffer.  How to resolve this crisis is anyone's guess.

Even if God exists and the voice of God were to say "Get your ass out of China" I would still doubt and hesitate.  But if you look at what actually happened during this trip and all the people I met along the way who said what they said, the conclusion is fairly obvious:  I need to move forward, make a plan to get out, and take action on it.  

Another major success on this trip was taking the initiative to talk to as many people as possible.  It's very easy to become introverted on a cycle tour, so it takes some effort to make the trip more social.  This trip was far better than any others when it came to this.  

Self-discovery was actually quite random and not seemingly connected to any of the above.  For some reason on this trip my Youtube feed had a video on what a sigma male is.  So I watched it and was astonished at how much that described me.  More videos that followed showed the comparison and contrast with the classic alpha male and then all of of a sudden everything fell into place.  It actually did connect with the above, in fact it connected with the entire trip.

The sigma male is the lone wolf who doesn't play by the rules made by the alpha.  This doesn't mean he can't be a leader, in fact he can.  He can do it very well.  It's just that he steers away from all the politics and nonsense that is involved in traditional leadership roles.  The alpha male is all about the status and letting everyone know he's the boss.  He is basically the one who always wants face.

There is a Chinese saying where the real boss is found in the corner of his business cleaning the floors.  He's not always cleaning but sometimes a menial job needs to be done and he doesn't care if he's the one doing it.  Many people come in and judge the guy and don't recognize him for who he is.  Meanwhile, one person talks to him for real without all this pretense and class snobbery.  He gets to know the boss, finds out he is, and then is rewarded.

Even if I had a million dollars it wouldn't change the fact I'll be doing these cycle tours until I die.  For all those who want to judge, well judge away, but if we actually talk and have a genuine conversation you might find that the sigma male is worth having on your team.