LAKE ROOSEVELT NATIONAL RECREATION AREA (GIFFORD CAMPGROUND): Dirty Tricks

August 1, 2019

A 26-mile day might seem kind of sissified to the expert bicycle tourists out there, but I have an excuse--it's a pretty good one too and it's basically true. I definitely wanted to spend some time recreating in the National Recreation Area, and I don't mean boating and fishing. Therefore I am splitting the last 56 miles of Lake Roosevelt so I can do some other forms of recreation in addition to bicycle touring. Things like tent camping, hiking, swimming, and maybe some unloaded biking on gravel roads.

So yes, it wasn't a high-mileage day worthy of an expert, but it was still a fun and eventful and active day. Would you like to read about it?

The first order of business will be to describe the sissified 25 miles of dotted-line highway I rode. AWESOME! How's that for an in-depth analysis? As my state's former governor, Jesse "The Body" Ventura used to say back in his professional wrestling days, "That's all the people need to know!"

True, that probably IS all the people need to know, but it is not all I need to write. Here comes another one of my barrages of wordiness.

It was a pretty good wildlife viewing day. I saw several hawks and heard their lonesome screeches, "CHREEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!" I saw two coyotes racing up into the hills, presumably in fear of this non-threatening bike rider. I saw a deer at the side of the road. It ran down into the ditch on my right, then back up again, crossed the road in front of me, and finally ran down into the ditch on that side to hide.

Silly deer! I got a picture of your rump despite your evasive actions.

It was also a good day to observe some plant life other than daisies, purple daisies, and pine trees. (I do want to point out that the pine trees have been particularly fragrant. They smell a little like those pine tree air fresheners that some people hang from the rear view mirrors of their cars--only better.)

This picture of tall grass, little sunflowers, and haybales is my fave. It looks like North Dakota--a North Dakota with mountains.

Of course there were also great views of the Columbia River, here known as Lake Roosevelt thanks to the Grand Coulee Dam which is two or three days in my future. Below are two examples of the grandeur of this river. Only two things could have made the photos more exciting: The inclusion of an Air Force fighter jet and the EXclusion of my face.

The road itself was spectacular, as any Rand-McNally dotted-line highway SHOULD be. The pine trees are thinning out to offer wider views, the mountains aren't quite as high, and the ascents away from the river are at a less vicious grade. The traffic comes at a reasonable enough pace to give one a sense of solitude. The wind comes straight at me at 10 m.p.h. but I don't mind because it feels cool on this 90-degree day.

That brings me to the part where I discuss the main reason for my sissified mileage--the recreation part. I did pretty well except for the gravel road riding. The only opportunities I could find were ridiculously steep roads up to who knows where? I challenge even the most drug-enhanced professional bike rider to get up some of those things.

I did get a chance to do a little hiking in the middle of my sissified riding day. I don't know if it was a hiking trail or an abandoned road, but it was suitable for my purposes. I liked walking through the shade of the pine trees, which occasionally stopped blocking the view long enough to see the river.

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While on the hike I picked some questionable, yet exotic, fruit for G-2. I knew he'd be hungry and I felt bad about leaving him with my bike in the deep, scary forest.

I've got some nice, delicious, white blueberries for you G-2 . . .

. . .and some nutritious mini-tomatoes . . .

Ahhhh, there you are, right where I left you.

"Oooooooooh, my stomach doesn't feel so good," announced my cartoon alter-ego after we'd been back on the road for a while.

"Don't worry about it, G-2," I reassured him. "You probably ate too much. Just try to induce vomiting. You'll be fine."

Feeding G-2 those questionable fruits might have seemed like a dirty trick, but it was only in retaliation for the dirty trick he played on me last night. He flew off my picnic table in a gust of wind and I had to chase him half-way across the park. Really, he was tumbling across the parking lot and I feared I would never see my little paper cartoon alter-ego again.

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I got to do a little swimming too, which was cool and refreshing on another 90-degree day. There are no pictures of that activity because I was pretty much naked. That's all the people need to know!

Camping was another recreational activity I enjoyed today. The Gifford Campground was pretty big and most of the other campers were RVers, with whom I have pretty much nothing in common. I got a nice site on the river and managed to keep the others away by cranking up the tunes.

In conclusion, I am as happy as can be here in the National Recreation Area. This is how I've expressed happiness in previous journals and I did it again today:

You KNOW I'm happy when I do cartwheels.

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Today's ride: 26 miles (42 km)
Total: 200 miles (322 km)

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