Different, Demented, Daring, Daffy

December 1, 2022

Is it December Already?

Hi folks, welcome back to the seventh and final installment of Touring DIFFERENTLY. I am so proud that my epic mini-tour experiment has garnered heaps of praise for its high level of mediocrity by a number of anonymous Cycleblazers (2 is a number, right?), tens of other people who couldn't find anything better to read, and probably a lot of literary critics.

That's not to say there aren't a few detractors out there. I mean, "Doofus" is a word so commonly associated with me that I've actually come to embrace it. "Lame" is another one, but I'm not quite as flattered by the lame-calling as I am with being known for doofiness, goofiness and daffiness. That's especially true when I think of the millions of people who click on this journal for the first time, only to see the ratio of miles ridden to days ridden.

I can only imagine potential readers being flabbergasted by the lameness. "WHAT?!!" they exclaim in my vision. "Only 556 miles in over half a year? Only three miles per day? That's not a bike tour; that's a commute to elementary school. Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, it's not a joke," is my answer. "It's touring DIFFERENTLY. It's touring LOCALLY too. And it's definitely touring FUNLY. And I appreciate that this fine website has allowed me to write my journal this way. It wouldn't be quite the same if I had been asked to divide it into seven separate mini-journals.

Eight Inches of New Snow and 9-degrees(F)--Yup, it's December

I do not yet have a route or a start date for my December mini-tour, but I hope to resolve that in the next few days. In the meantime, I thought I'd premier my latest feature film right here on Cycleblaze. It's an age-old story about the conflict all bike riders have to face from time to time: the choice between completing one's chores, or satisfying one's desire to ride one's bike into danger. I think the following movie shows how I resolved the dilemma.

The next day, I went riding again. It was cold, but not too cold to take a picture of me, my bicycle and my really cool icicle.

ALERT: Lame doofus wields dangerous weapon on city streets and trails.

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Comment on this entry	Comment	14

Bill ShaneyfeltGonna be me in a few weeks... Groan! My max is about 5 inches. More and I mostly just spin the rear wheel. 2-3 is fun. 4-5 is work. I hate cold riding. Below 50 is no longer fun. Below freezing is miserable. Below zero is just tough, miserable and very painful. But I gotta make the heart pump for about an hour most days, so here it comes.

Take care.
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2 years ago

Keith KleinHi,
Thanks for reminding me that I haven’t shoveled snow in 22 years!
To answer Bill, there’s no such thing as bad weather, only poor clothing choices. But winter still sucks, mostly. When I lived in Minnesota I used to put the bikes away and don my cross-country skis in such conditions. Except of course for club rides on New Year’s Day, and occasional bouts of ice biking on the lake with studded tires on the MTB.
As I see it there are two drawbacks to winter riding: the ice and snow conditions on the ground, and the snow and wind conditions in the air. The cold is dealt with by dressing like a snowmobiler and putting wide pedals on the bike so you can fit your Sorels . Oh how I don’t really miss it!
Cheers,
Keith
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Bill ShaneyfeltThanks Bill, and I'm the same way--I have to pedal at least for a little while each day. I'm not a big fan of bundling up in cold weather clothing for a ride, but I'm even less of a fan of freezing.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Keith KleinNo snow shoveling in 22 years????? I am so sorry to hear that. Here's hoping your part of France gets an abundance of snow this year so you can get back into shoveling shape.
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2 years ago

Rachael AndersonTo Bill ShaneyfeltYou are tougher than I am. I’ll go for a walk in the snow but not for a ride if it’s sticking very much.
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2 years ago

Bill ShaneyfeltBig difference in touring compared to a cardio workout! Touring involves a LOT more exposure. My cardio workout rarely exceeds 2 hours in good weather, not much over 1 hour when it is below freezing, and I look like a horror movie villain with my homemade face mask!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3249928203190&set=t.1116514192&type=3
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2 years ago

George (Buddy) HallCool! I mean cold, very cold. Are you nuts? Never mind, that's a bit of a rhetorical question. I'm embarrassed to admit that I sometimes have trouble convincing myself to ride in cold weather even though my weather is much tamer than what you deal with - so now I realize that I really have no excuse. I have wrecked on ice before, so I'll avoid days with icy roads - short of that you have shamed me into riding on days when it's just cold. Gee whiz, guess I better go pump up the tires now and get out into the relatively warm Oklahoma weather.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Bill ShaneyfeltYou're right, the mask you're wearing makes Jason Voorhees look like a choir boy.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo George (Buddy) HallYeah, I crash on the ice a couple times every winter. Like a fool, I keep coming back for more. I think there's a saying out there about climbing back on your bike after falling . . . an inspirational "try, try again" type of thing. I guess I'm motivated by that, but those falls hurt a little more each year.

So, every bike tourist has his or her own skills. Your high-mileage, ride-through-the-toothache-pain is legendary. My skill is nothing more than pretty good balance on snowy roads and bundling up in ridiculous layers of clothing.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Rachael AndersonStay in Oregon through the winter and, if I know you as well as I think I do, you'll eventually get tired of not riding your bike and you'll be putting in your 42-miles no matter how snowy or cold it is.
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2 years ago

Emily SharpAn impressive icicle for so early in the season! I know you enjoy that shovelling as much as the winter bike riding - though maybe you'll get tired of one or both about the time you start taking pics of buildings and not your tent at state park campsites :-) You have an impressive pedigree of so many, many years of winter riding though, that maybe you'll just need more layers of clothing/padding to keep going long after most would quit. Are you subjecting Bing Bong Jr to the crap or Senor Bing Bong? And sorry to see the container still in the driveway... I hope all the materials and labour are available and are steadily progressing renovations.
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2 years ago

Mark BinghamI'm really looking forward to this trip even more than the others, because it truly is touring differently. I don't think I've read a single journal yet about a winter tour and am really impressed, not only by the temperature, but by the fact that you biked to work for 25 years. Each Autumn, I seriously consider commuting in the winter, but then the temperature drops below 50F/10C degrees and I abruptly change my mind. Will you spend any of your nights in a tent? If you really want to show off, it's something to consider. But don't die.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Emily SharpIt'll be The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong for this one. I'm not quite ready to subject Son of Bing Bong to the winter conditions yet--especially the salt on the roads. Maybe next year. And thanks for asking about the remodeling project. It is moving along nicely now, thank goodness. Hopefully it'll all be done by Christmas.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Mark BinghamI have considered the camping idea (for no other reason than to showoff) but can't quite muster the courage to actually do it. Again, I refer you to the first page of my "A Few Days in a Snow Globe" tour in which I discussed my aversion to winter camping.
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2 years ago