A Whole New Level Of "Touring Differently" Differentness

A Whole New Philosophy

When I was in college, I took a couple of philosophy classes. In the late 1970's, Existentialism was all the rage among the hip philosophy students on campus. I definitely wanted to be part of that crowd. The more I read the works of dudes like Camus, Dostoevsky, Kierkegaard, and Nietzsche (especially Nietzsche), the more I liked the idea that the entire universe is absurd, and it was up to each person to provide meaning to their own existence by making themselves smarter, stronger and more philosophical. Government, god, and other people sure aren't going to do it for you.

Since then, (today actually) a new philosophy was thunk up by the famous Cycleblazer and deep thinker, G-2. It's called Exiscyclism and it's sure to become the next big thing on college campuses, bike trails, and highway shoulders.

Like Existentialism, human existence is also absurd in G-2's world of Exiscyclism. The difference between the two philosophies is that, in Exiscyclism, a legitimate purpose in life can be achieved via bicycle touring adventure. Who would have thought my cartoon alter-ego was a member of the intelligentsia?

I'm a big fan of absurdity too. I like absurdist books and movies, and I look for the absurd wherever I ride. That's why I'm more than a little freaked out that I didn't invent this new school of thought before G-2 did. It would have paired nicely with the religion I invented seven years ago (and have been bragging about ever since.)

What all this means is that you should think about whether you want to read a mini-tour journal that's likely to blend heavy doses of Existentialism with overdoses of Exicyclism. If not, I understand.

"The tree that would grow to heaven must send its roots to hell." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"The cyclist who aspires to reach a destination must put his wheels to the road." -G-2

A Whole New Level of Gravelocity

So far, more than 95% of my mini-tour miles have gone very, very smoothly. TOO smoothly. It's time to rough things up a little bit. The goal for the November mini-tour is simple: I want it to be at least 50% bumpy.

No, I'm not looking for bumpy weather or bumpy encounters with evil people. I'm referring to bumpy surfaces--like gravel roads, dirt roads, cart paths, goat paths, hiking trails, grassy fields, residential lawns, and any other unpaved surfaces I can find. That should shake things up a bit.

A Whole New Level of Irrelevant Rambling

I've been pondering a tailwind-only tour for a long time. I even wrote an on-line article about it on a different website. In that article, I dug deep into the exciting prospects and the possible pitfalls of such a tour. My conclusion was that the absence of wind resistance and the unpredictability of where I'd end up each day would be a total blast. Even so, I was never able to bring myself to actually start such a tour, riding with the wind day after day for a month or more.

AHA! Then came the mini-tour concept.

I can think of no better month than November to conduct a tailwind-only mini-tour. It's a windy month here in Minnesota and there is very little chance of it being a WARM wind. Who the heck wants to ride into a cold, eye-watering, cheek-burning, toe-freezing, lip-chapping, hand-paralyzing, mind-numbing, bike-slowing wind like that? I can tell you one person who doesn't--that would be ME.

************

Well, all those tailwind thoughts were written yesterday. Today I am, once again, chickening out at the last minute. I just can't handle the wimpiness. We cyclists like to complain about headwinds, that's for sure. Yet, we also pride ourselves on conquering them as a normal part of what we do. It doesn't seem right to eliminate an important bike touring challenge. I mean, what next, Greg--an all-downhill tour?

I'm heading out tomorrow (or maybe the next day), and I've decided to accept whatever wind direction I get, which makes this part of my introduction moot and totally irrelevant.

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Emily SharpWell, I think we can call G-2 a philosophy nerd! I look forward to seeing what bumpy stuff you come up with :-)

Normally, I think a tailwind ride would be demoralising when you had to just turn around one day and ride right back in the direction you came after a front came through and swapped the wind. However, on my current trip I'm pretty sure the amount of southerly and westerly winds, or some combo of them, would have us in the Pacific Ocean somewhere off QLD by now (if you could get there... probably too many closed roads between here and there!). Hope you have limp flags and good gravel for your ride.
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2 years ago

Rachael AndersonI love G2 new philosophy! However, the 50% bumpy wouldn’t work for me. I’ve been seeing way more bumpy road than I like and my body is screaming at me. I’m looking forward to following your new mini-tour so I can read about it without experiencing it myself.
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2 years ago

Keith KleinHi,
Bumpy is brilliant. But November is absurd, especially in Minnesota. I mean, how will you know which tires to use? It could be the nobby ones, or given the possibility of freezing temperatures, the spiked ones. And isn’t it time to put on the flat pedals so you can ride with boots on?
Sartre said the biggest decision of one’s life was to decide whether or not to keep on living. Go out there and live on your bicycle then, but don’t forget to write!
Cheers,
Keith
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Emily SharpYes, I did consider the demoralizing possibility of having to ride back on the same road a day later, and even worse, riding back and forth for a whole month and never getting more than 100 miles from home. It was a chance I was willing to take at the time, but now it's one of the reasons I just can't seem to pull the trigger on a tailwind tour.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Keith KleinYou're right, any weather is possible in a Minnesota November. It looks like a solution to the tire selection dilemma has been handed to me on a silver platter, though. We're looking at near-record high temperatures for the next couple days. It might even get up to 70-degrees. That's why I made the sudden decision to start this mini-tour on the very first day of the month.

Thanks for the Sartre quote. That great Existentialist will almost certainly play a part in this journal.
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2 years ago

Kathleen JonesDear one, I was a philosophy major in the mid-70s and yes all those bad boys were all the rage. And they made my eyes cross. My main professor was an authority - an authority! - on Martin Heidegger. All I remember about his stuff is the Monty Python Philospher’s Song: Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar he could drink you under the table. Now that was my kind of philosopher, at the time. I decided to major in philosophy because I thought “tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life” was deep. I had no idea there were people like Heidegger.

G-2 is the philosopher we need today. Grind it out.
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2 years ago

Suzanne GibsonI had my flirt with philosophy in college, too. I went for the hair-splitting metaphysical questioning of the nature of reality, does that stuff out there exist anywhere but in my head? What does that mean for the cyclist? Nothing that I can come up with now. Asking what gives life meaning is more relevant. Bumpy roads for example, but headwinds not so much for some reason.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Kathleen JonesSomehow, I KNEW you were one of those cool cat philosophy majors. One of my professors--Dr. Driesbach--was also a big Heidegger guy. Martin Buber too. And leave it to Monty Python to get right down to the philosophical nitty-gritty.
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2 years ago

Rich FrasierGreg, have you ever considered a "left-right" tour? We used to do this when I was a kid in East LA. Start from in front of your house. Take the first left turn you come to. Then take the next right. Then the next left. Repeat until exhausted or in a really bad neighborhood. You obviously need some special rules for dead ends. I'll leave the rest to you. I look forward to the trip report.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Rich FrasierRich, sometimes I still do that while riding around town. Basing a whole mini-tour on the idea would be amazing. Thank you for the suggestion.
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2 years ago