The Worst Bike Tour In History

August 16, 2024

And a Journal to Match

Day Three

It was another night with fewer than three hours of solid sleep. I've never slept well in hotel or motel beds, but the last two nights have been ridiculous. Even so, when daylight came, I pulled myself together, drank all three packs of in-room Keurig coffee, and prepared to ride.

As I packed my panniers, I thought about how lame this tour had been so far. I thought about how I only had three days left to save it. I thought about how two of those days would be taken up by an anti-climactic, out-and-back, overnight ride to Galena. Then what? I'd still have a car anchoring me to Dubuque.

Near the end of the packing process, a sense of panic overcame me. I don't know why, but I got an awful feeling that I didn't pack my tire irons and multi-tool before leaving Dyersville. Sure enough, they weren't in my seat bag where I normally keep them. I frantically emptied my panniers, rummaged through the contents and searched the room. The result was nothing. Suddenly, I could almost see them sitting on the floor, next to the TV stand, in the Super 8 Motel--right where I put them when I finished the tube replacement operation yesterday.

When I came to my senses, I felt silly for getting so upset over it. After all, I was in a city of 68,000. Surely, I could pick up a new multi-tool and tire irons before leaving town. But you know what, I just wasn't feeling any enthusiasm about the tour anymore. The lost tools were just the final straw. I had enough. I decided right then and there to drive home.

The Grand Sweeping Conclusion

This wasn't a bike tour. It was a car trip with some cycling thrown in. I didn't mean for it to be that way, but that's how it developed. And I blame myself for LETTING it develop that way. I had a couple decent opportunities to put a halt to this disaster before it ever started. The first one would be when I found I couldn't follow up on my idea of a Point A to Point B tour because I didn't plan transportation back to Point A very well.

At the time, I was proud of my ability to adapt to the situation by transforming my Point A to Point B tour into a shorter loop tour. Looking back, I can see it was TOO short and I could think of no other places I wanted see in order to lengthen it. Without the joy I get from camping, the daily mileages from motel to motel ALONE should have prompted me to cancel the tour.

I also had a perfect opportunity to end the tour on the first day. After riding backward in the rain to retrieve my car, I should have accepted the fact that this was becoming more of an AUTOMOBILE tour than a BIKE tour. I should have unpublished my journal, and enjoyed the rest of my nostalgia trip such as it was.

Thank goodness, the missing tools incident in the Dubuque Holiday Inn helped me to finally come to my senses. I quit the tour once and for all, and I have no regrets.

************

As gloomy as this Grand Sweeping Conclusion might seem, I really did enjoy the parts where I rode my bike in the land of my youth. They brought back some happy memories. Maybe the happiest of them was riding the same streets of Dyersville where I rode my stingray bike with my friends so many years ago, popping wheelies and jumping off ramps before (to my knowledge) BMX was even a thing.

************

I drove that bloody, stinking Chrysler minivan straight home with only two stops in five hours. Those stops lasted just long enough to snap a couple of pictures.

If you are a bike tourist who likes non-stop steep climbs and crazy fast descents, the National Great River Road north of Dubuque would be your nirvana. Here is a picture I took from the top of one of the ascents.

A picture of my favorite river--The Mississippi--near Guttenburg, Iowa.

When I got home to MY Town, the first thing I had to do was take a bike ride to see the local version of the Mississippi River. I wanted to compare it to the Iowa version.

Some of you may know that I'm REALLY happy when I show off with a headstand.

That's the end. Thank you for checking out my journal, and I understand if you think I wasted your time. I'm sorry.

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Comment on this entry	Comment	20

Mark M.You win some, you lose some. Sounds like you had some good times on the tour, and that scenery does look splendid. No point beating yourself up if it's just not the right time. I don't think it would be great if this site became some kind of Instagram world where every tour goes splendidly and looks perfect! I'm sure you'll be back in the saddle and journalling again and, in the meantime, I for one enjoyed your musings. Thanks for sharing them, and I'll look out for the next travelogue 🙂
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Mark M.Thanks for your kind comment, Mark. Indeed, I will be back, bigger and better than ever.
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2 months ago

Bill ShaneyfeltNot wasted on me... Got me back to some good memories.

But then again, if yer really adaptable, ya don't need no stinkin' tire irons. If need be a good ol' steel spoon works, or even a nail, scary as that might be.

Thanks for the fun!
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2 months ago

Suzanne GibsonThanks for quitting. Not that I was tired of your journal, but I have quit or had to quit so many tours, I appreciate that I am in good company. I'd hate it if everyone here were undaunted in the face of adversity. And I did enjoy the pages so far.
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2 months ago

Nancy GrahamNot wasted on me either. I enjoy your ramblings and any of your attempts at journaling are ALWAYS fun! I don’t think this one was a failure at all — reliving some of you childhood years in your old neighborhood had to be quite a blast from the past; and those photos of the town were indeed very interesting. So chin up buckaroo, and on to the next adventure — which I hope is not too far in the distance.
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2 months ago

Kelly IniguezIt's nice to know you are also human and can also admit that quitting is a better choice than forcing yourself to continue just because. I've been there and done that also! No regrets.

Did you swing back by the Holiday Inn for your tools? Maybe the multi tool was worth back tracking?
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2 months ago

Karen PoretI, for one, really enjoyed your comments, good and bad ( according to you)..But, I absolutely LOVED the mural of “field of dreams” in Dyersville being the avid baseball fan that I am.
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2 months ago

Rachael AndersonI’m sorry it didn’t work out. I would have bailed out long before you did! Thanks to global warming, the weather is getting worse all the time!
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2 months ago

Susan CarpenterNo tour in Iowa, no matter how short, is a waste of time for me. And a bonus were the memories of Catholic grade school. Thanks for sharing all the highs and lows - it's life, after all.
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2 months ago

marilyn swettReading about your experiences reminded me of our past tours that didn't turn out as planned. Sometimes it's better to just admit that you're no longer having fun and head home. We're enjoying our time in Dubuque and found the Tri-State area to be quite beautiful - certainly not what we expected for this corner of Iowa, Wisconsin and Illinois! Maybe you should try a mini-tour to the north part of Minnesota?
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Bill ShaneyfeltThank you for not only the compliment, but also for the emergency spoon-as-a-tire-iron idea. I always carry a metal spoon on my tours for eating peanut butter out of the jar and for eating most of my campsite meals.
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Suzanne GibsonI'm glad my failure helped make you feel a little better about yours . . . I think? Seriously though, thank you for reading about my escapades. And have fun on your next tour with Susan, which I just read about on your new Cycleblaze journal.
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Susan CarpenterIowa really is an underrated state, as I knew you already know. Now I know that you also know that kids who went to Catholic School are no holier than public school kids. Kids are kids, and kids will get into mischief and test their boundaries. As you said, "it's life, after all."
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Nancy GrahamI always appreciate that you read my journals and provide nice comments. Now I really appreciate that you called me "Buckaroo." That's hilarious!
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo Karen PoretNext time I watch "Field of Dreams," I'll have to watch the credits closely to see if they mention Dyersville. It would be a travesty if they didn't.
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2 months ago

Gregory GarceauTo marilyn swettNot all of Iowa is as spectacularly hilly as the northeastern part, but every region has its own charms.
I have toured in northern Minnesota while on my way to Winnipeg, Manitoba and back, but it's been a while. Maybe it IS time to get back up there for a mini-tour.
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2 months ago

Bill ShaneyfeltTo Gregory GarceauSpoon... Funny thing. I used to carry a "lightweight spoon" (plastic) when backpacking, but had a couple snap and had to carve a wooden replacement with no place to buy anything within a couple long days hike, thus the metal spoon on bike tours.
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2 months ago

Nancy GrahamTo Gregory GarceauNot many I know that the moniker fits like it does you ;’-).
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2 months ago

Emily SharpYeah, what a crap tour for you. I feel sad for you that the weather and everything was so stressful and you spent several almost sleepless nights trying to turn it into something good. Sometimes it just sucks and it's time to go home. Glad you could make that call. I hope maybe you can try again later, maybe in Sept when the weather is more stable or something.
And you are in good company... I trained hard for six months to be all ready for a tough 5-day backpacking trip in CO, only to have to cut it back to a short overnight. There were tears of disappointment and I'm still not mentally ready for my equivalent of a headstand yet..... Hope you can plan another little tour or a second go of this one before the icicle pics start.
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1 month ago

Gregory GarceauTo Emily SharpThanks Emily. It was a crap tour. I know I whined a lot in this journal, but I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't want anybody else to feel sorry for me either. It just didn't work out this time and I'll move on. I know you get that.

Hopefully I (and other followers of Ramble Out Yonder) will get to read about your overnight backpack in the Colorado Rockies. It sounds like your having to cut the trip short has some parallels to my failed bike tour, except it had to be even more disappointing considering all the extra training you did for your wilderness adventure.
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1 month ago