D22: 固城 → 雄安新区

October 16, 2024

I have a highly refined "sense of fashion"

In that there was an early 13th century pagoda, a traffic jam, and some active roadworks, more happened on this day than the preceding day; but, more than nothing still ain't much.

I started my day off making a surprisingly difficult one shot video of me standing in front of the "183km to Shijiazhuang" sign. Making videos has done more to improve my spoken Chinese than anything else I've done over the years but, no matter how simple the 'script' or how many times I repeat to myself something exactly the way I would say it to a person standing in front of me, the first thing I do when I turn the camera on myself is fuck up the words.

Then, I fuck them up three more times.

I don't especially remember noticing Jiang Taigong stones before, but this is definitely an area where they worship him

Possibly homebrew kid-back tandem attachment

After something like seven takes (not counting the ones that I immediately stopped and deleted because of a truck driving by), I decide that the one where I get especially over enthusiastic about using the word especially because I've somehow forgotten all other adverbs is just going to have to be the one I use.

Edited the video to get rid of the umms and awkward pauses and to do bilingual subtitles while I ate a donkey mo and some salad-y kind of dish for brunch, then hit the road in the direction of the Guangming Master Pagoda.

Dating to 1203, my American sensibilities tell me that this ought to be the subject of a large protected area; thjs ought to have signs telling visitors how to get to it; and this ought to have lots of available information that I can look up online.

I am preemptively awarding this "Best Historical Marker of the Year"

If you sneak up on it at angle, and you move your head back and forth, it's actually readable

Instead, although it got a protective fence some time last year, it seems to mostly be completely ignored with my video being one of only four on the internet, and the only "marked at that spot" video that's actually about it.

Also, for reasons that probably have to do with it not being a particularly unique or important specimen of early 13th century architecture, it's only a county-level heritage protection site and it's only been Protected since the late 90s¹.

The rest of the village's architecture is uninteresting, the roadworks and associated rural traffic jam caused by no one having anywhere they are able to go are merely frustrating, and, once I cross the water to Xiong'an New District, although it's one of the District's park areas, it's a 75% built park in Hebei in the fall.

Note to Self: Find out why central Hebei likes seal script so much

Only one lane of one east west road is open

The guys stringing high voltage power cables on a series of towers that are in the process of going to are more interesting than anything to my left or right.

As my friend is arriving by way of Capital Airport with a busload of people from the US who I'm totally sure I wasn't told were going to be high school students, I actually get to the hotel before anyone else.

This gives me plenty of time to be quietly critical of just about everything related to the hotel's facilities without actually showing my disappointment that something so bright and shiny sucks this bad

Coming in at 370 yuan a night (of someone else's money) in a county where a quick perusal of the listed hotel prices on Maps seems to indicate that the average price is closer to 75 a night, the first thing³ I notice is the Health Department poster behind the front desk giving them a "C" rating⁴.

My photos with people are on the other phone

Sketchiest "Open to Traffic" Bridge² of the Year

Usually expressed as a green smiley face, a yellow neutral, and a red frown, the ratings are effectively "Excellent," "Some Improvement Possibly," and "Needs Work."

I've seen a "D" before, but only once, and they were doing everything in their power to hide it⁵.

"B" ratings are normal. Most places that aren't international five star hotels (or large McDonald's) get a "B." Even the Beijing rebbetzin's kosher restaurant took a few years of nitpicking from inspectors before eventually getting their "A".

But "C"? C is for places where, as a customer, you don't want to look in the kitchen and you probably have to bring your own soap and paper when you go to the toilet.

Fancy places with lobbies and decór shouldn't be getting a "C". Of course, they also shouldn't have Random Vending Machines in the lobby, an elevator lobby that's a different height than the floor it goes up to, or Certificates of Authentic Artwork next to their very random selection of wall art.

Also, not sure that I would have noticed it if I wasn't wheeling my bike around trying to find my room in a poorly labeled labyrinth, but the concrete floor didn't even get basic levelling before they put the carpet down.

I'm also Unimpressed by the beds.

And then even more Unimpressed by my friend's department head thinking that, after asking a few days ago if we could share a room (and being told "no" with a polite but flimsy excuse of my having brought nothing to sleep in), she could publicly guilt me into sharing a room anyways because I've been put into a room with two beds⁶.

And it's not even every painting or photo

¹ Which is about 15 years after it was put back together from the Red Guards deliberately knocking it down early on in the Cultural Revolution

² I was going to give it "Sketchiest Bridge of the Year" but then I remembered that possibly 18th century thing that got Dr. M telling me after the fact that one of the Rules of Fieldwork is "never attempt to cross a half collapsed bridge until after you've had a look at it from underneath†"

† And which she was unwilling to cross after having had a look at from underneath

A public Birth Control Policy blackboard where the most recent local marriage whose information is posted is from 1999

A small "private" restaurant that probably belongs to someone from Beijing

³ Actually, the first thing I noticed was the vending machine selling men's shirts. But my wandering around while I waited for what I was supposed to tell the Front Desk in order to check in doesn't make for good narrative flow

⁴ This could mean that the local Health Department is super, duper strict. However, considering the lack of attention to detail in construction, it probably just means that they suck.

⁵ Rating for the cafeteria of the school where June's ChineseBridge Storytelling SemiFinals took place

⁶ Among other things, because I hadn't expected her to be asking such a thing, when I came downstairs to meet people I was already using the non-sleeping bed as a large flat surface for Things and had left my dirty clothing scattered on the floor†.

† One of the many habits of mine that Chinese Boyfriend considers uncouth and uncivilized, I don't see any reason why clothing I don't plan on wearing again until after it has been washed needs to be treated nicely.

Today's ride: 48 km (30 miles)
Total: 1,426 km (886 miles)

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