October 9, 2024
T1: 吴堡站 → 中关村 （双语）
I don't know what the actual rules are about "bikes on trains" cause I almost never try to take a bike on a train.
I do know that if you are polite, and well spoken, and able to show that you can take your bike apart into pieces, most train stations will let you through.
我不知道关于“自行车上火车”的实际规定到底是什么样的，因为我几乎没试过把自行车带上火车。
我只知道，如果你彬彬有礼、谈吐得当，并且能够证明你可以把自行车拆成小件，大多数火车站都会让通过。
And the ones that won't usually have cargo offices where it's still possible to organize shipping your bike.
Even softened up by Dr. M's passage through their station, which I'm able to document in photos of "you literally let a bike through six hours ago and I can see you in the photo," I've got one of those asshole employees who has, in the space between midnight and 6am, decided that the Rules say the bike must be disassembled and bagged in the waiting area.
而那些不允许的火车站通常设有货运办公室，在那里仍然可以安排托运你的自行车。
即便有M博士带着自行车通过这家车站的先例（我还能拿出照片为证，照片上显示“六个小时前让一辆自行车通过了的工作人员是你”），可我还是遇到了一个混蛋工作人员。在午夜到凌晨6点这段时间里，他认定规定就是自行车必须在候车区拆解并装袋。
He even, oh so benignly, gets me a trash bag which I'm pretty sure is too small to fit my wheels into (let alone my entire bike).
他甚至还假惺惺地给我拿了个垃圾袋，我很确定这个垃圾袋小得连我的车轮都装不进去（更别说一整辆自行车了）。
I go with a brusque "I just put my bike back together" from going through the x-ray machine and a "you honestly cannot be telling me you think that I will be able to get an awkward pile of stuff up to the platform and on to the train in the available time if you make me de-bike it."
Then, I ignore him.
Which, I'm glad to say, works.
我生硬地回应道：“我通过了X光机检查后刚刚才把自行车重新组装好”，还说“老实说，如果你们非要我把自行车拆了，你们真觉得在这点时间里，我能把这一堆不好拿的东西搬到站台上并弄上火车吗？”
然后，我就没再理他。
我很高兴地说，这招奏效了。
Cause sometimes the people who know they are talking out their ass get stroppy about having their authority challenged.
In fact, I might even hazard a guess that there is a direct correlation between the knowledge that you are personally a lying wanker who is making shit up and how angry you get over being called out over making shit up.
因为有时候，有些人明知自己在胡说八道，但是一旦权威受到挑战就会发脾气。
事实上，我甚至可以大胆猜测，一个人清楚自己是个满口胡诌的骗子，和他被人揭穿胡诌时的愤怒程度之间存在着直接的关联。
But I guess, on this occasion, he just wants to bully someone who won't talk back to or stand up to him cause he follows me up to the platform (it might actually be his job) and proceeds to spend the rest of the wait until we're 'allowed'¹ onto the platform yelling at all the other passengers for horrific crimes such as stepping past the invisible line that separates the ramp to the platform and the actual platform or not tightly gripping their suitcase handle².
但我猜，在这种情况下，他只是想欺负一个不会顶嘴或反抗他的人，因为他一直跟着我到了站台（这可能确实是他的工作职责），然后在我们“被允许¹”上站台前的等待时间里，他冲着其他所有乘客大喊大叫，指责他们犯下了可怕的“罪行”，比如越过了分隔站台斜坡和站台的无形界线，或者没有紧紧握住他们的行李箱把手²。
Even if the app had refused to let me³ choose middle, top, or bottom bunk and had thus defaulted to the least desirable top bunk, I've got a bed and it's more comfortable than the waiting room where I'd just been sleeping, so I'm back asleep for another 6 or 7 hours of my 11 hour journey to Beijing.
I'm well closer to Important National Media Outlet's studio where tomorrow's meeting is than I am to O & A's place and it's late enough when I get into town that I have to hope that, since whatever exactly is happening isn't filming, my red dress and Decathlon shorts won't look too tatty⁴, so I book myself into a nearby hostel where I don't realize private room ≠ private bathroom and call it a day.
即便应用程序不让我³选择中铺、上铺还是下铺，结果默认给我分配了最不理想的上铺，但我好歹有了个床位，而且这比我之前睡的候车室舒服多了。在这趟长达11个小时的去北京的旅程中，我又睡了六七个小时。
我现在离那家重要的国家级媒体机构的演播室更近了（明天的会议就在那儿举行），而离O&A的住处更远了。等我到城里的时候已经很晚了，我只能寄希望于不管具体要做什么，只要不是在拍摄就行，那我穿的红裙子和迪卡侬短裤看起来不会太寒酸⁴。于是我在附近的一家青年旅社订了个房间，结果我没想到到私人房间并不等于有私人浴室，然后就这么结束了这一天。
¹ I put this in air quotes because I've never before been made to wait until the train came to be a complete stop before being allowed onto the platform
¹我以前从来没有被要求过要等到火车完全停稳后才被允许上站台。
² As I'm sure you're all aware, rolly suitcases escaping from their owners and sprinting across train platforms to commit suicide is a serious and common hazard
²我相信大家都知道，行李箱脱离主人的控制，在站台上狂奔然后“自寻死路”是一种严重且常见的安全隐患。
³ foreigner name problems
³ 外国人名字带来的问题。
⁴ Better than when China Daily decided to turn "an interview about biking across China" to "an interview about my perspective on the Free Trade Port" and the nicest shirt I had with me said "Eat Pussy, It's Vegan"
⁴这比《中国日报》把“关于我骑行环游中国的采访”变成“关于我对自由贸易港看法的采访”那次要好，而且当时我身上最好的一件非骑行的衬衫上印着的内容实在是不太合适。
Today's ride: 14 km (9 miles)
Total: 1,107 km (687 miles)
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