D17: 白云山 → 螅镇（双语）

October 7, 2024

Using Taobao image recognition to get her own copy of my Seriously Awesome Jesus Socks 用淘宝的图像识别功能找到了和我那双超棒的耶稣图案袜子一样的款式。

Since the marrow channel on my right tibia has a stabilizing steel/titanium rod that—owing to the level of injury and the medical technology at the time—can't be removed, cracking or bruising that leg's mostly useless calcium growths (what other people generally refer to as "bones") doesn't affect me quite the way it would most people.

At various times in my life (especially when I was learning how to walk), I've had pretty bad balance. There was at least one time in university where I fell hard enough to get x-rays and the nurse told me that, despite cracking my supplemental calcium growths, my bone (the one made out of a steel/titanium alloy) was fine. I feel like there was also something with falling about a year after I got my special shoes where my doctor told me not to bother with x-rays unless a non-bionic body part was hurting.

由于我右侧胫骨的骨髓里有一根起固定作用的钢钛合金棒——鉴于当时的受伤程度和医疗技术水平，这根棒无法取出，所以我右腿的钙质增生（一般人称之为“骨头”）出现骨裂或瘀伤，对我的影响不太一样。

在我人生的不同阶段（尤其是我再学习走路时），我的平衡感一直不太好。上大学的时候有一次，我摔了一跤大的，去拍了X光片，护士告诉我，尽管我的钙质增生部位出现了骨裂，但我的（由钢钛合金制成的）“骨头”没事。我记得还有一次，在我穿上特制的鞋子大概一年后摔跤了，医生跟我说，如果非仿生身体部位不疼痛，否则没必要去拍X光片。

Intriguingly, the two who are repeated in the exterior wall paintings are in supplemental attendant position rather than being primary objects of devotion 有趣的是，在外墙壁画中反复出现的两位女神处于次要陪侍的位置，而非主要的供奉对象。

So, I already know that—unless I start getting scary colors or swelling—the only thing to do for it is anti-inflammatories like Naproxen or Ibuprofen¹.

I'd been trying to show the "helpful" 52kg woman from the Front Desk at last night's hotel, that if she didn't get out of my way right this very now, anything bad that happened would result in both of us getting hurt. Except, dumbfuck that I am, I didn't just wobble my bicycle like I was about to lose control, I actually lost control.

所以，我知道，如果没出现可怕的颜色变化或肿胀，否则唯一能做的就是服用萘普生或布洛芬之类的消炎药¹。

我昨晚试图向酒店前台那位“热心”的52公斤重的女士表明，如果她不马上让开，接下来不管发生什么不好的事，我们俩都会受伤。可我这个蠢货，当时不只是让自行车摇晃得像是要失控了，实际上我真的失去了平衡。

And I fell.

And now things are hurting in that "is this actually a Real Injury?" sort of way.

然后我就摔倒了。

现在有些地方疼得让我不禁怀疑“这是不是真的受伤了呢？”

Now blocked off "stairs" that once went up the rock face, presumably to additional shrines and grottoes 现在已经没法用的“台阶”，而这些台阶曾经通向岩壁上方，大概是通往更多的神龛和洞穴。

Photographing some movable relics on the other side of the road from the grotto in the last set of photos 拍摄上一组照片中洞穴马路对面的可移动文物。

Dr. M asked the Universe for a hat; it provided a hat; therefore, she must wear the hat M博士向老天爷要一顶帽子；老天爷给了；所以，她必须戴上这顶帽子。

Which—because of the base level of pain that I'm already ignoring and the dramatic histrionics my leg is prone to throw over perfectly normal things like flying²—is a question I honestly don't know the answer to.

Being as we're staying someplace nice enough to include breakfast in our room rate, the first task of the day (and one which gives a good idea of how much yesterday's fall hurt) is for Dr. M and I reconnaissance to the breakfast room downstairs, determine that even on a cyclist's "seafood" diet³, none of it appeals as much as what we ordinarily eat (or don't eat) of a morning, grab a couple of hard boiled eggs apiece, and go back to my room for a few pots of coffee (both of us) and a bowl of oatmeal (me).

因为我一直没管轻微的疼痛，而且我的腿总是会对一些再平常不过的事情（比如坐飞机²）反应过度、小题大做，所以我真的不知道。

由于我们住的地方很不错，房费里还包含早餐，所以今天的第一项任务（这也能很好地看出昨天的摔倒对我造成了多大的伤害）就是我和M博士下楼去餐厅打探一番，结果发现，就算按照骑行者的饮食标准³，这里的食物也没有一样比我们平常早上吃（或者不吃）的东西更有吸引力。于是我们拿了几个水煮鸡蛋，然后回到我的房间，一起喝了几壶咖啡，我还吃了一碗燕麦粥。

Reenacting the scene of me falling 重现我摔倒的场景

Someone in the comments section on a video recently asked me how many hours per day I can go without stopping.

Obviously, this depends on the terrain, the weather, and how interesting the environment around me is. Yesterday, we stopped maybe as much as once per hour. Today, however, was more like every 20 minutes. Not because of the aforementioned ouchie or because we were tired, but because Something Interesting came along and stopping simply needed to happen.

最近有人在一个视频的评论区问我，我每天可以连续骑行多少个小时不休息。

显然，这取决于地形、天气，以及我周围环境的好玩程度。昨天，我们大概每小时停一次。然而今天，差不多每20分钟就停一次。这倒不是因为前面提到的伤痛，也不是因为我们累了，而是因为一路上总有有意思的事情出现，我们得停下来。

By which I mean—other than my periodically considering getting my high-test painkillers out of the place I've hidden them⁴, and uphills being harder than normal—today was a good day.

也就是说，我时不时会想把藏起来⁴的麻醉止痛药拿出来以及爬坡比平常更费劲，除此之外，今天是很不错的一天。

Rather a bit high above the waterline for this to be marked as a ferry crossing 这个地方标着是渡口，但位置比水位线高了点

Actual ferry crossing with boats 真正有船只的渡口

There is so much wrong with this map 这张地图有太多错误了

Today's stopping because Something Interesting includes a place where Chairman Mao once spent the night, a fake horse, crimes against public maps⁵, more historic yaodong that are in the process of becoming bougie retreats, a ye olde-ified historic town⁶, an antique store, bad coffee, worse lemon tea, a Monkey King shrine with a fascinating iron bell, an effectively inaccessible pavilion that is probably a couple hundred years old, a very dangerous bridge that I shouldn't have climbed across⁷, a walk through a corn field, and a group of women in their 60s who charm us into letting them take a hundred photos and cheesy video with us.

今天因为有意思的事情而停下来的经历包括：毛主席曾经住过一晚的地方、一匹假马、一张超级差的地图⁵、很多正在被改造成高档度假屋的窑洞、一个古色古香的历史小镇⁶、一家古玩店、难喝的咖啡、更难喝的柠檬茶、有着一口很有意思的铁钟的猴王庙、一座实际上很难到达的可能有几百年历史的亭子、一座我真不应该爬过去的非常危险的桥⁷、在玉米地里走了一遭，还有一群60多岁的女士，她们非常有魅力，我们和她们一起拍了上百张照片和一段很俗气的视频。

Rule No. 1 of "is my friend doing something potentially stupid" is to stand out of the way and take photos “我的朋友是不是在做蠢事”的第一条原则就是站到一边去拍照。

Photos of the bridge I really shouldn't have climbed across⁸ 那座我真不应该爬过去的桥⁸

We were trying to see if there was some way to get a better look at this pavilion 我们当时在想有没有什么办法能更好地看这座亭子。

The effect that pain has on my speed plus all this stopping means it's on the verge of dark as we get to the edge of Xiezhen. Another one of those places with 镇 (meaning "town") as part of the naming element of the town, it—like Mazhen and Wanzhen—looks like it ought to be a township rather than a town. Our current working theory is that all three places were named prior to current naming conventions, that they kept the second character because current naming conventions usually don't allow for towns to have single character names⁹, and that they've only recently gone from township status to town status¹⁰.

疼痛对我的骑行速度产生了影响，再加上这么多次的停歇，所以当我们到达蝎镇周边的时候，天几乎要黑了。蝎镇镇和马镇镇、万镇镇一样，名字里都有“镇”字，看起来它更像是一个乡，而不是一个镇。我们目前的推测是，这三个地方的名字都是在现行命名规则之前取的，它们保留了第二个字，是因为现行命名规则通常不允许城镇用单字命名⁹，而且它们也是最近才从乡的级别升级为镇¹⁰。

Outside the Journey to the West Temple with the fascinating bell 在那座带有趣的铁钟的西游记话题寺庙外面

The majority of the contents of the inside of the temple weren't actually all that interesting 这座庙里面的大部分东西实际上并没有那么有意思。

During the Great Leap Forward, this bell was not old enough to have been important enough to escape being melted in a backyard furnace as part of the idiocy of trying to "catch up to the West in steel production", and yet, it survived... 在大跃进时期，这口钟还不够古老，没有重要到能躲过被当作“赶超西方钢铁产量”这种愚蠢行为，而被丢进后院熔炉里熔化的命运，然而，它却留存了下来……

We have four or five kilometers to go to the 'listed as existing but we aren't going to provide a phone number or picture' lodging just down the road in Chashang. Although the first group of locals¹¹ we ask directions of are useless, the second group of grannies is just enough better at Mandarin than that we get sent to the unlisted but locally-famous Farmhouse Hotel.

With the exception of a lack of plumbing, it's everything all the Instagrammable wanghong places are trying to be. Which is why, when laoban tells us the price is 100y, we "mistakenly" think that's per room and give him 200y shortly before one of the neighbors insists on driving us to the only open restaurant¹² in town.

我们还要再走四五公里才能到达就在岔上村那家“在地图上但不提供电话号码或图片”的住宿地。虽然我们问的第一批当地人¹¹完全帮不上忙，但第二批老奶奶的普通话稍微好一点，她们把我们指引到了一家没有被列出但在当地很有名的农家小院。

除了没有管道设施之外，这家小院具备了所有那些在小红书上很火的网红打卡地所追求的特质。这就是为什么当老板说价格是100元的时候，我们“误以为”是每个房间100元给了200元，然后一位邻居坚持开车送我们去镇上唯一一家还开着的餐馆¹²。

Never let it be said that I have a problem with people wanting to take photos with me 我非常愿意与礼貌的想和我合影的人拍照。

Walking back because he's got friends at another table and a prodigious amount of Baijiu by him was consumed during our bowls of noodles, he will show up again in the morning, cooking some godsawful smelling herbal medicine concoction for the owner of our hotel. Other than "not father and son," we never do figure out though what their relationship is.

我们打算走回来是因为他在另一桌有朋友，而且我们吃面条的时候他喝了不少白酒。他早上还会出现，给我们住的这家酒店的老板熬一种闻起来特别难闻的草药合剂。除了知道“他们不是父子”之外，我们一直都没弄清楚他们之间到底是什么关系。

¹ Technically, Tramadol is also on this list. However, despite it barely giving me a buzz, I've shown a disturbing tendency towards dangerous behavior† while on Tramadol and have requested that it no longer be prescribed.

¹曲马多也可以消炎药。然而，尽管它几乎不会让我产生兴奋的感觉，但我在服用的时候会有一种令我不安的做出危险行为†的倾向，所以我要求不要再给我开这种药了。

† The tipping point came in 2019 on an occasion where one pill wasn't enough painkiller fast enough for me, and I redosed four more times before mixing it with all the Codeine in my handlebar bag, and then decided while blitzed to still go riding on a major road.

† 转折点出现在2019年，有一次吃一片曲马多后对我来说起效不够快，于是我又吃了一、二、三、四次！然后我自己觉得“还没感觉”把它和我车把包里的可待因混在一起吃了！！在药力发作的状态下，我还决定要在一条主干道上骑车。

Fake cobblestone and a modern paifang 假的鹅卵石路面和一座现代制的牌坊

² I used to think my leg's problem with airports was the forced standing in line at security checkpoints and luggage pick-up. However, on account of how much I don't love the airport staff's insistence that they push the wheelchair I'm borrowing from them, I will often walk through my departure airport without issue.

²我以前一直以为我的腿在机场会出问题是因为在安检和取行李的时候不得不长时间站立排队。然而，由于我不太喜欢机场工作人员坚持要给我推从他们那里借的轮椅，所以我经常可以毫无问题地在出发的机场里走动。

³ Seafood = see food, as in "we see food, we eat it"

³“海鲜”和“看见食物”的英语是谐音。也就是说“我们看到食物，就把它吃掉”

⁴ Where, because the primary role of my narcotics is as the sense of safety which having them available gives me, I would have held it in my hand, looked at it, and come to the conclusion that I still wasn't bad enough to need to take them†.

⁴ 因为我的麻醉药对我来说，最主要的作用是让我有安全感，知道它们在身边就行，所以我会把药拿在手里，看看，然后得出结论：我还没疼到需要吃这些药的程度†。

† Level One Pain - I must have my pills hidden in my luggage. Level Two Pain - I must know where my pills are. Level Three Pain - I have retrieved the bottle from it's hiding place. Level Four Pain - I have decided to take my pills.

† 一级疼痛——我必须把药藏在行李里。二级疼痛——我必须知道我的药在哪里。三级疼痛——我从藏药的地方取出了药瓶。四级疼痛——我决定吃药。

Repainted historic slogans inside the town gate 城门里面重新粉刷过的历史标语

Even knowing that what it was replacing was probably in really poor condition, I actively dislike pressure-stamped "carvings" like this woodwork 即使知道它所替代的东西可能状况非常糟糕，我还是很不喜欢这件木雕这样用冲压的方式制作的“雕刻品”

⁵ Compared to Dr. M, my Very Strong Opinions on how badly Chinese maps are frequently labeled or designed are barely first year bodybuilders.

⁵和M博士相比，我对中国地图经常标注错误或设计糟糕的强烈意见，就像刚练了一年的健身新手一样不值一提。

⁶ Usually done on the basis of an actual historic building or buildings, ye-olde-ification cleans things up, removes actual historic content and context, and attempts to commercialize sites along the lines of what modern sensibilities feel the history ought to have been rather than what it actually was†.

⁶ 通常对于一座或多座真正的历史建筑进行改造，古色古香的改造会对其进行清理，去除真正的历史内容和背景，然后试图按照现代的审美观念，将这些景点商业化，展现出人们认为历史应该有的样子，而不是历史的真实面貌†。

† Although this is no longer commonly done in the US or Europe, the late-18th/early-19th century mill town I grew up in was ye-olde-ified as a historic district in the 1950s. This makes it a great neighborhood to live in, but it completely divorces it from it's original nature.

† 虽然这种做法在美国和欧洲已经不常见了，但我成长的那个18世纪末/19世纪初的磨坊小镇，在20世纪50年代被改造成了一个历史街区。这使得它成为了一个很不错的居住社区，但也让它完全脱离了原本的性质。

Fake documents in the Antique Shop 古玩店里的假文件

Real documents in the Antique Shop 古玩店里的真文件

Grain tickets! Not worth very much but So Fucking Cool. 粮票！不值多少钱，但太酷了。

⁷ Dr. M incorrectly thought I did not need to be reminded of the basic Fieldwork Guideline for Archeology Students premise that "half collapsed structures should be thoroughly investigated before you do something where the collapse of the structure could injure you."

⁷ M博士错认为，我不需要别人提醒考古专业学生野外实习的基本准则，即“在你做任何可能会让半塌的建筑结构倒塌并伤到你的事情之前，应该先对其进行彻底排查”。

⁸ Note that Dr. M was sensible† enough to climb down the embankment, walk through a cornfield, and look at the bottom of the arch before deciding not to walk across the bridge that I was in the process of attempting to cross.

⁸ 注意，M博士很明智†，她爬下堤岸，穿过一片玉米地，查看了拱桥的底部，然后决定不走过那座我当时正试图走过的桥。

† Considering that she likes to go winter swimming, on ponds that have ice, it is not a good thing when I'm describing her behavior as being "more sensible" than mine.

† 鉴于她喜欢在结了冰的池塘里冬泳，当我形容她的行为比我的“更明智”时，这可不是什么好事。

Things from my childhood DO NOT BELONG in a Antique Shop 我童年时期的东西不应该出现在古玩店里

An old olde-timey faux antique phone and a mobile phone from the 90s 一部非常古老的仿古董电话和一部20世纪90年代的手机

Not going to lie, I like this poster enough that a non bicycling me would have bought it 不瞒你说，我很喜欢这张海报，如果不是在骑行旅游的话，我肯定会买下来。

⁹ Although single-character counties (like 易县 in Hebei or 成县 in Gansu), and single-character villages (新村 is a popular one) exist, something like 75% of placenames are two-character (北京、上海、广州), followed by 20% three-character (石家庄、张家界), and 3% four-character (呼和浩特、乌鲁木齐).

⁹ 虽然单字县（比如河北的易县或甘肃的成县）和单字村（“新村”就很常见）是存在的，但大概75%的地名是两个字（北京、上海、广州），其次是20%的三个字地名（石家庄、张家界），还有3%的四个字地名（呼和浩特、乌鲁木齐）。

¹⁰ in the hierarchy of Chinese sociopolitical divisions, just as provinces (省) and municipalities under the direct administration of the central government (直辖市) or banners (旗) and prefectural-level cities (地级市) hold the same position, so too do townships (乡) and towns (镇). Townships, however, are smaller and more scattered, posses a less well-defined core services area, and are usually more economically depressed.

¹⁰ 在中国的社会政治行政区划等级中，省和直辖市、旗和地级市分别处于同一级别，乡和镇也是如此。然而，乡的规模更小、分布更分散，核心服务区的界定不太明确，而且经济通常也更萧条。

Some of the stuff in the shop was just incomprehensible 店里的有些东西真的让人完全看不懂。

Such as this entire book on how to guarantee the gender of your child 比如这一整本关于如何确保孩子性别的书。

¹¹ Separate from comprehension issues related to dialect, we also had a problem with them not using markers such as "left/right" or "north/south" in favor of Yellow River related terms that we couldn't conceptually map.

¹¹ 除了因为方言而产生的理解问题之外，我们还有一个问题，就是他们不用“左/右”或“南/北”这样的指示词，而是用和黄河相关的术语，而我们无法在概念上把这些术语和方向对应起来。

¹² Not because the other places have closed but because the other places never existed in the first place.

¹² 不是因为其他餐馆都关门了，而是因为其他餐馆从来没有开。

The worst coffee I've had in a very long time 很久以来喝过的最难喝的咖啡

Thoroughly modern bathrooms in the ye-olde-ified town 在这个古色古香改造过的小镇里非常现代化的旅游厕所

There's some pretty good Chinglish on this sign 这个标牌上有一些很有意思的中式英语。

Today's ride: 51 km (32 miles)
Total: 1,039 km (645 miles)

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D17: 白云山 → 螅镇 （双语）

D17: 白云山 → 螅镇（双语）