D9: 砂河 → 代

September 27, 2024

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED First fiberglass police officer of the Tour

I'm not sure when I last had this much cash on me. Even before China started going cashless in 2015, the vast majority of transactions over 500y that I received or made were bank-to-bank transfers.

Even during the 2014 Tour, when finding an ATM that wouldn't charge me a fee for being from another province was still hard, I rarely carried over 1,000y at one time.

Closest I can get is either the absurd per diem I asked for (and got) during the Weird Thailand Incident¹ in 2011, the time the 2007 Tour of Hainan put me in charge of a brown envelope with USD 100,000 in travel and appearance fees that needed disbursement², or the school that used to pay my salary in cash in 2005.

I now have enough copies of this exact socialist realism mixed with brush painting style Rural Safe Electricity Usage poster⁴ in enough provinces that I'm starting to suspect the original may be by someone famous

Ultimately, my inability to direct transfer the money back to Officer Zhang⁵ is a positive⁶

The US might be a bit behind the times with still having checks and non instantenous peer-to-peer bank transactions, but I effectively grew up in a cashless economy and I've never been comfortable with wads of cash.

So, not that there was much of anything to be skipping, I skipped all my potential detours that would involve me being more than a few feet away from my bike⁷ at any time, set my GPS to the closest ATM of a bank where I have an account, and deposited my bribe⁸.

The ATM doesn't like my card, so I have to go inside

I've seen plenty of "no drinking and driving signs" but this is my first "no drugged driving" one. Should I be concerned?

Excellent babies and excellent child rearing practices make fortunate families⁹

Don't risk your life by riding on a moto-trike

I should have ended the day in the county where I made the deposit, but I hadn't even gone 35 kilometers and—even with a lazy dunch—so long as I didn't run into any more roadworks, it was a bit over 25km to the next county and I had plenty enough light left to me.

Of course, it was all roadworks the whole way.

I found an alt route as sunset slipped away into dusk, managed another 5 or 8 kilometers without my headlight on account of it not really helping in the interstitial space between light enough to still kind of see and totally pitch black, and finished up with at least 15km more of total darkness.

Three modern niches that might have once had plaster and paint

Roadside shrine that appears to reference a local folk tale

Modern examples of wall-less villages that have a gate tower temple

I won't say that my hotel was picked entirely at random. Given the photos of the options in town, there was a fair amount of weighing one thing versus another before choosing a place that looked like it belonged on a rural truck route from 15 years ago and not 200m away from a county seat's historic Confucian Temple.

I'm guessing their proximity to the Confucian Temple is why they've had Hong Kongers in the past. Cause, even if it was a somewhat upmarket¹⁰ example of the category, it didn't feel like someplace that really ever got tourists.

However, whether because Shanxi or because small backwater towns are some of the easiest places to check in, check in was nice and smooth.

This not very interesting¹¹ monument from the 1920s is mostly interesting because of the amounts given when it was renovated in the 90s

Repairs of this nature are rarely so skillful

¹ Indian trader doing business in Hainan decided that I had the ability to help him with something I had no qualifications or ability to do. When repeatedly saying "I can't help you" didn't work at convincing him otherwise, I went with "paying me is a waste of your time and money, but as long as you are willing to give me money with no effective result, I'll happily take it from you" and asking for amounts that no person in their right mind would pay.

² It was handed to me on account of some teams needing to give change and my being the only person in the secretariat who knew what US 50s and 20s are supposed to look like.

³ Not nearly as amusing since Carrefour left the Chinese market

⁴ All of the posters in this genre use the same images of children climbing on a transformer or someone with wet hands changing a light bulb. However, they're usually drawn and painted in different styles by different people.

⁵ Initially because I got her family name wrong on the anti fraud check, and then because I didn't have that much in my WeChat Wallet

⁶ This way I get to have a written cover my ass "be thankful I'm probably not going to fuck you up over this" conversation referenced in the last entry.

Signs like this on how many people are from this village versus how many actually live here year round paint a picture of Chinese urbanization that's even faster than the official numbers

Once upon a time hairdressers on the National Road

⁷ Even if no one was going to know that there was a large sum of cash hidden inside the interior zipper of my handlebar bag, and even if that sum of cash didn't appreciably increase the value of [my bike] + [my gear], it still made me uncomfortable.

⁸ Is it still a bribe if you deliberately go out of your way not to do the thing desired by the person giving you the money you said you didn't want?

⁹ Related to the family planning policy that most people call the One Child Policy, this is specifically about prenatal check ups and good infant nutrition as a way to combat congenital diseases.

If the cities get rich first, it is their duty to lend a helping hand to the countryside and jointly build a moderately prosperous society in all respects

¹⁰ Obviously they had rooms that were less than the 90 per night I booked online, and they passed most of my cleanliness spot checks†, but they were very basic.

† Back of the TV was dusty

¹¹ The local Antiquities Bureau has even put a sign on it designating it as a "Not Very Interesting or Important Immovable Cultural Relic."

I've seen plenty of Amitabha Stones before

Tile posters with birth control policy and slogans

Today's ride: 69 km (43 miles)
Total: 580 km (360 miles)

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