I Am To Cycle Touring As Velveeta Is To Cheese

May 1, 2022

A big THANK YOU goes out to the anonymous "poet" who wrote my introduction. That guy really has me pegged. And even though his ode pretty much says it all, I do want to add a few words of my own. I just hope it's not too late.

I know there are many reasons to believe a tour of Wisconsin will have an Excitement Factor of "ZERO." That's okay, I get it. I can't even come up with any evidence to refute that idea. However, I can report, with some certainty, that what Wisconsin lacks in spectacular scenery and centuries-old history, it will make up for in weirdness. I mean, we're talking about a state in which a significant percentage of the citizenry wears green shirts and huge wedges of cheese on their heads during football season. Other times too, I'm sure.

Well, let me tell you, I can be as weird--and as cheesy--as Wisconsonians. That's quite a claim coming from a stoic Minnesotan, but I'm prepared to back up my bold words with action. Like all great journalists, I am going to embed myself deep into the Wisconsin culture--cheese, bratwursts, beer, rabid sports enthusiasm, and everything else (except hunting & fishing) that can transform me into an official Wiscon-sinner.

Don't be surprised if this little experiment results in me being the first person ever to win a Pulitzer Prize for on-line bike touring journalism.

Practicing to blend in with the Wisconsin population.

I sure as heck don't want to distract anybody from the many journals-in-progress here on Cycleblaze. Most of them are more serious, more interesting, better written, better photographed, and are located in more exotic locales than my little spin in Wisconsin will be. This journal is just being offered as an off-beat alternative. I hope you check in once in a while after you're done reading the five-star journals.

Sorry, Just One More Thing

I must address the obvious question: "Aside from weirdness . . . why Wisconsin?"

In a nutshell, I recently discovered a two-week window of opportunity in which to conduct a tour. Wisconsin is the closest state to my Minnesota home, so it will be cheap and easy to get there. It will require almost no planning, which is right up my alley. No visas. No pre-tour Covid tests. No airline reservations. No worries about boxing and transporting a bike.

Next comes a related question: "Why SOUTHWEST Wisconsin, as opposed to touring among the beautiful lakes and forests of the northern half of the state?"

Easy! I've previously traveled quite a bit in the northern part of the state and that includes cycling. The south will have fewer fisherman pulling fewer fishing boats. It will have fewer ATVs and/or snowmobiles crisscrossing the roads. It will have fewer tourists, fewer view-blockers and fewer blackflies. It will have MORE cows, raccoons and farm machinery. Hopefully, it will be a couple degrees warmer as the month of May can still be pretty cold here in the upper Midwest.

Last but not least, southwest Wisconsin needs more representation in the world of bike touring journals. I'm here to help.

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Comment on this entry	Comment	7

Susan CarpenterI love cycling in the driftless area of southwest Wisconsin. Looking forward to following along.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Susan CarpenterIt's great to hear from somebody familiar with the Driftless Area. I've ridden in much of the Iowa portion, and look forward to expanding my horizons in the hills of Wisconsin.
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2 years ago

George (Buddy) HallWell, your tour theme captured my interest enough so that I went back and reviewed my Northern Tier journal's Wisconsin entries. I do think you will find some weirdness along the way (but it's good weirdness), and - if you look real hard for it - you will probably find some corn too. Did you know you can hear the corn growing?
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2 years ago

Lorenzo JarreI'm pretty sure I'm going to find this journal better written, more interesting, and for sure more entertaining than a lot of others!
Best of luck GG
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauTo Lorenzo JarreThanks Lorenzo, but please don't wager any of your hard-earned money on that. And definitely don't let it distract from your own fine journal and from fighting off that illness. (I see you're in Bosnia-Herzegovina now . . . cool.)
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2 years ago

Keith AdamsMy first-ever touring experience was a three-day/two-nighter with my brother, c. 1984. He lived in Madison and we made a loop from there out toward Fennimore and back.

He had put together a route using fairly large-scale maps obtained from the various county Chambers of Commerce and other sources. I still remember a nasty hill called, appropriately, The Pinnacles, as well as some soft/deep gravel roads that went straight up the hillsides, making them too steep to climb out of the saddle lest the rear wheel spin under the reduced traction.

It was also my first (and so far only) experience with "stealth camping" though of course I didn't know the term at the time. On one of our nights we simply pulled over when we felt like we'd reached the end of the riding day, and pitched the tent in an out-of-the-way corner of someone's field. I don't recall now whether it was even behind a screen of trees. The other night, I believe we stopped in at the local police station and got permission to pitch up in the town park for the evening.

A final memory to share: we had stopped at a bar somewhere for dinner (grilled cheese sammich and a beer, IIRC), and were headed out of town in the middle evening when we drew the attention of a small pack of boys in the 8-12 year old range, cruising around on their 1 speed "hot rod" bikes.

Naturally we ended up in a full tilt, all-out sprint racing for an invisible and undefined finish line. Two old guys (I was in my early 20s, my brother his early 30s) on loaded bikes "racing" a bunch of young upstart whippersnappers on banana bikes must've been a pretty amusing sight to any spectators.

It was a great experience, and a really enjoyable adventure for me. I hope you have similarly appealing experiences.
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2 years ago

Gregory GarceauType your comment here
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2 years ago