Day D2C: Synchronicity

July 18, 2024

After sleeping all afternoon I went to check out the beach. It was only a 5 min walk but already drenched in sweat this was going to make the laundry a headache. My host said just drop it off downstairs and our servants will do it for you. But it would happen to do full loads every 2 days at this rate.

Anyways it was Thursday night and time to party. The way it works here with the Islamic calendar, the weekend is Friday and Saturday. You can guarantee all the social events will be on Thursday night and I found one at the Palm Jameira. This is a manmade island in the shape of a palm and complete with all manner of luxury hotels.

I wasn't sure how to get there and taxis weren't stopping so I walked into a random hotel and asked the butler to call me one. Not only he did so, he said "Please sit down in the lobby while you wait, would you like some sparkling water?" This was unheard of. If you tried this stunt in Shanghai they would know you walked in off the street and scold you. You would be ignored and shamed. Certainly you wouldn't get a cab let alone a sparkling water.

Once in the cab, my driver from Bangladesh told me "Be sure to check out some Pakistani restaurants while you're here. Don't eat that western trash food." I agreed and we started getting along great. He recommended one and said "It's a real restaurant, not this fancy stuff. It's only 20 dirham. You'll enjoy it. I'm telling you all this because you're my brother." After more chat he said "Guess my age?" I said he was 50 but he was really 61. He didn't look it at all. He said "It's because I don't drink alcohol and never have all my life. Thanks be to God."

I admired him for that and he said "Cmon brother I know you drink, don't try to hide that. It doesn't matter, you need to have a good time in life." Maybe he could read minds. At that very moment, three vivacious women were standing by the roadside and wanted a taxi. He commented how beautiful they were as he passed them by. I missed the view unfortunately and only saw them briefly because the taxi was going too fast. But they appeared to be from Ukraine in fact it's my best guess.

He dropped me off at some random hotel and I was able to then find the venue for the social event. Of course it was Internations. This one was absolutely hopping! I started working the room and doing my usual thing, as well commenting to another guy I met doing the same and wondering how to approach people in groups. I gave him a few tips based on what my local friend in San Jose told me and those same tips I would later practice myself with great success.

A number of conversations were had but one stood out the most in particular. A woman from Russia had an immediate connection and you guessed it, she told me her life story. She also found out early on I work in Shanghai and was astonished. She gasped and said "Oh my God, I used to live there and my kids went to a famous school. I can speak Chinese and we had an ayi (maid) and everything. But my husband and I got divorced after I chose to leave. In fact we're finalizing the proceedings now. My husband is a diplomat and we have three kids."

I tried everything to keep my composure. The only question I could ask her was "Why did you get divorced?"

She told the story and it basically amounted to her leaving after the political situation in China went belly up but her husband refused to leave. I couldn't believe my ears what I was hearing. This was hitting too close to home. Not that her story was a mirror image of my situation, but it had the potential to be. I mean, it's a horrific dilemma I'm in: stay in China year after year and watch my mental health get worse and worse, or take action on a plan to move. And if I do so, I can't exactly give my wife an ultimatum to join me or else, she needs to decide these things for herself.

As this woman kept telling her story I started crying. She asked what was wrong. I tried to tell her the short version of my story. She completely understood. I told her, "I really don't know what to do. For whatever reason I came to Dubai and am here checking things out on this trip for a potential new start. And now we're having this conversation and you told me all this."

The crazy and insane thing is that none of this was planned. I just showed up to a social event, threw on a name tag, and walked around the room. To make it even scarier, combine this trip with the Thailand one before, the number of these kind of so-called random conversations was creeping into the 20-30 range. If all this was random, by now it would be like trying to win the lottery multiple times in a row.

She went on to say she's a certified life coach and with a consulting firm and would give me a free consultation. Well the more people who can offer insight on this the better. This trip was always going to be talk therapy.

The conversation then went more political and I told her "That asshole in charge is the reason why all this is happening and why China is now unliveable. You were smart to get out earlier. You have no idea how bad it is now, not just what happened with covid, but everything after as well." She then wanted examples of all that and I tried to keep them short as there was a sheer abundance of stories. She was shocked and I assured her I was not making anything up.

Knowing where she stood now I told her, "I know Xi Jinping is a horrible human being but I'm sure there are other politicians like him, wink wink nudge nudge" Of course this was the setup for her to trash Vladimir Putin which she did then said "Actually I renounced my Russian passport a long time ago"

I was going to party some more and talk to more people but this conversation hit too close to home. I then had to cry in the restroom then find my way back.

Before leaving she said "What is happening here is synchronicity. God or the universe sent you here to meet like this. This is not an intellectual conversation or some bullshit like 'what's your job', this is from the heart. What you're going through is real but you're having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. As Albert Einstein even said you need to transcend the problem and you're not yet in the right headspace for that. But you're doing amazing Steve, really you are. Try not to think of all this as a setback but rather a setup."

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