Day C1: CTRL - ALT - DEL - Caucasian

July 27, 2024

Day C1: CTRL - ALT - DEL

Sleep was pretty terrible after all that. When I woke up I looked at the map and was horrified at what I saw.

That cheating son of a bitch took me on a huge loop to end close to the airport

So not only did the taxi driver make a crazy amount of money off my 'tax' last night, he purposely drove back so close to the airport he could repeat the whole thing over again for round #2 and find another victim. It was a lucrative business I'll have to admit, and I'm sure he would find other victims.

People often ask how this is even possible in the days of apps and GPS. Back in Dubai I remember how a taxi driver got lost even with GPS. I think what it is, not all navigation apps are compatible and when you're in a new country it doesn't always work. No doubt I had my phone out and was tracking the cheating driver, but the blue dot wasn't moving in sync with the map. Something was definitely off. While he was circling around, I couldn't track that and he knew it for sure. It was all done on purpose.

While furious, I had to calm down and try to take stock of the situation as it was. All the main valuables were with me, and it was only some non-valuable stuff in a checked bag that was lost at baggage claim. I tried to contact the airline but they were unreachable. The call centers wouldn't pick up, and the AI-based chat feature was useless. You couldn't email them either. I was close enough to the airport that I could still walk back and forth and make more attempts to reclaim the baggage.

But the first thing to do was charge my phone. That could be done with a power bank. As for these new electricity outlets, I didn't have any adaptor plugs so nothing else could get charged. I then packed the folding bike bag into another bag and repacked all my clothes into one light pannier. Then I realized in a worse case scenario and the missing bag was permanently lost, it would be a good idea to buy two new lighter panniers to spread out the remaining load. Either way what happens with the lost bag I'm downsizing big time. On a fundamental level, I'm still carrying too much stuff around, even now after all this minimalism.

While figuring out all these complex logistics, the hotel boss came in and offered breakfast. Well that was appreciated, I guess. It was somewhat a touch of Armenian hospitality but it was all tainted by the previous ripoffs and for sure made me think they would rip me off for this too. Even the cab driver offered me some of the famous black coffee. I guess you have to give him a tiny bit of credit for that.

But the hotel boss was angling for me staying another night at the room. The price came down to 19k, around $45. Slowly but surely things were moving in a better direction. I took his offer for another night because I wanted to safely leave the bike inside the hotel and walk to and from the airport to try and reclaim the bag again.

Typical fast food places where you stand and eat

This time unfortunately the mission was a failure. What I finally realized with the misunderstanding was they thought I lost the bag in the arrivals hall and not the baggage claim. It would be one last attempt tomorrow.

For now, I got out the bike and started riding into town to tackle other errands. It was only 10km in a straight line downtown which makes me wonder how the taxi driver managed a circuitous route for over 25km.

Moreover I saw the prices on the side of the road for drinks, fast food, little burritos and stuff like that and they were incredibly cheap. I still made a few more blunders with the currency but now the locals were honest and were giving money back and saying I paid too much. It was going to take a little more time to get a feel for this currency.

At least now the prices were finally coming down and I could amortize out the loss from the initial fuckery at the airport. The good news with touring is you can save a ton while on the road. The bad news is that anytime you fly the bike in or out of airports it is a MASSIVE headache and you pay a fortune for these kind of costs. It would be far better, if possible, just to ride the bike out of the airport and avoid taxis altogether. I have done that numerous times before. After all this, I really think this is the only way to do so. You don't need to take the air out of the bike tires, for example, so you can just ride off when you arrive.

There were some really cool scenes on the ride downtown such as a family all dressed up in traditional clothes going to an orthodox church service. It was a nice little glimpse of the culture.

Once downtown I tried to find out where the IT Hotel was that I had earlier booked without being charged thankfully. But the hotel didn't exist. I looked everywhere on the bike for it. Wowsers, so even if the cab driver came downtown last night to IT Hotel he wouldn't have found it and the same scene would have repeated.

Then a nice cafe came up and these were in abundance. The waiter was friendly, and the capuccino and two pepsis worked out to be around 2000 dram, or somewhere around $5. Another waiter saw the bike and asked me all these questions. I told him I was riding to Batumi. He didn't say anything about the ride, or any cool things that might be on the way. He only wanted to know what was next. "So what are you DOING after you arrive? Do you live here?" I didn't say much, it was none of his fucking business anyway.

You could argue that the taxi drivers in Dubai also intrude on your business but they do it in a fun and friendly way and make for entertaining conversations. I got a sense with these guys that they weren't on the same vibe. It's all a give and take. The guys in Dubai joke around and share their lives too, so it's easier to open up. Here they are a lot more gruff it seems and just want to pry information out of you without sharing.

Next it was a search for a bike shop but it wasn't panning out too well. The map led me down this really bizarre undergound tunnel or something, who even knows.

There was nobody home as it were so I kept on riding.

That flag is for the now dissolved republic of Artsakh

When I saw that Artsakh Republic flag I didn't really know what to think. I did some more googling to find the name of that "capital city" used to be called Stepanakert. But it was never internationally reconized as such, and it was one of those pseudo-states which the world has a few of. Most of those pseudo-states are also the ones that Russian occupies in both Georgia and Ukraine so there is certainly a connection.

Internationally, that land has always been recognized as part of Azerbaijan. In late 2023, they took back their land and the city was renamed to Khankendi, or the original name. The territory is also known internationally as Nagorno Karabakh. If you read the Azeri sources, they will say that Armenia occupied this territory until recently when it was liberated.

The Armenians will have a much different point of view on all this. They will say that Artsakh was a democratic republic and was subject to ethnic cleansing after the Azeris took it back. But maybe, just maybe, the Armenians also did ethnic cleansing when they occupied it earlier.

Based on how this trip is going, I'm beginning to rethink my position I took on all this. I know it's only been a few days in the country but so far the Aremenian people I have met are not friendly or smiling. They seem to have a stick up their ass and are really fucking bitter about this whole thing. So in that sense, maybe the Azerbaijani position is the correct one. It is their land, they had no say in the matter when Aremenia occupied it, and they were right to take it back

They say you're not supposed to judge a country by the people you first meet, but these horrible sons of bitches who ripped me off and treated me like shit on arrival just got me to side with Azerbaijan. And it serves them fucking right.

It became clear where I needed to go on my next trip with a new passport. For some reason I have this sense I will get a better reception in Azerbaijan than over here.

I started riding some more and tried to chill out a bit. The stress was starting to ease off, if only a little. An electronics shop was found and at first he wanted to sell me a laptop adaptor and he wanted a staggering 30k dram. I was getting furious with all these ripoffs. I said, "No!! I don't need this, I already have that from Dubai. I need a plug switch from one outlet to another." Finally he got it and that was downstairs tucked away somewhere for only 2000 dram or $5

So far the vibes in Yerevan weren't the greatest. If people continued to be gruff like this, I was seriously thinking of abandoning this trip and just flying back to Dubai. But now I was fucked that if I did eventually want to visit Azerbaijan next it would have to be on a new passport. This was a huge mistake. I could have easily flown there instead.

Fortunately the next local I met at the bike shop turned things around a bit. She was very nice and had what I needed, two light panniers and the whole thing only cost 16,000 dram which was good value, around $40. What's more her and her partner helped tune the bike up and fix some stuff that was damaged from the plane. As this happened we got chatting and I asked a bunch of questions about Armenia and some things to do for tours before the biking kicks off. She said, "Oh you're gonna love it. People here love to eat, we dance and drink and party all the time. You need to visit the brandy factories." I told her I would do so tomorrow.

She said, "If you have more questions, drop by anytime. We'll help plan your trip for you. When you're biking on the road to Batumi, the people are super friendly, they will feed you." She then taught me some basic greetings.

I then told her about what happened with the taxi driver and she was gobsmacked. She said, "What happened was inhumane actually, that was cruel. That was criminal. Listen I'm going to fight for you right now and call the police. Do you have any information about the driver or his license plate and so forth?" Sadly I did not because my brain was too exhausted to remember all that even though I should have. She was dead serious on calling the police because she said, "That taxi you took was 100% illegal, there is no question. Why didn't you take a metered taxi?"

I told her I did. She seemed really puzzled and asked me, "Is this your first time traveling or something?" The look she gave matched the questions.

I said "No, not the first time traveling at all. Unfortunately it was an off day for me, I got too exhausted at the airport and wasn't thinking on my feet as usual."

She said, "Well putting that aside, it doesn't give that taxi driver a pass. It still makes me very very furious what he did. I hear about people do this but never a firsthand story like you're telling me. This makes a shame on my nation. You're a guest in our country, and the people of Armenia are famous for their hospitality. That was a terrible first impression you got. I am deeply sorry for what happened."

I told her again not to worry about it, she was the one turning things around here. I hope she was smart enough to realize that if people had negative experiences here in Armenia they would side with the enemy. I'm sure she knew that. She had to. Maybe she could sense that and wanted to save her ship.

She then went on and on about all the stuff I could have done instead of spending money on that taxi: car rentals for three days, multiple brandy tours, countless bottles of wine, tours, even a night at the Marriot. She joked and said, "I'm making you feel really bad now aren't I"

Next she explained how to use the Yandex app which is basically their version of Uber and it does all the same things. Taxis from the airport are 3000 dram, not 30,000 dram. There are all sorts of other options including buses, even the hotels can pick you up from the airport.

The catch to all this is you have to plan the details ahead. Kind of hard to do that when all your energy is on a midlife crisis. She said, "I'm the type of traveler that plans every little thing ahead, so for sure if I were you I would be downloading that Yandex app and researching out the prices, avoiding these well known scams, and so forth. Anyways, just let the whole thing go. Money comes and goes. It's the people that matters. You're welcome any time at this bike shop if you have more questions."

So after that it was back to the same old shitty hotel and a final attempt at the airport to locate a bag which I know is going to fail anyway. But as compensation I did book the Marriot for the next night.

Today's ride: 25 km (16 miles)
Total: 423 km (263 miles)

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