Philip snored - Two Good Blokes tackle the Munda Biddi Trail - CycleBlaze

March 22, 2024

Philip snored

Bidjar Ngoulin hut to Harvey

I knew Philip was going to be snorer when I first set eyes on him. His slightly asymmetrical nostrils and John Howardesque bushy eyebrows were a dead giveaway. We learnt later on over dinner that he’d had 3 sinus operations in the past 2 years which was a definite red flag. Even when he introduced himself he had a worrying glint in his eye, held an outstretched hand and said “Hi, I’m Philip (and I’m going to keep you suckers up all night).

Taken some 6 hours before I started planning Philips murder
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We were in our sleeping bags by 9.30 and all initially seemed OK, although I did question why Philip had chosen to make his bag out of sewn together chip wrappers. Still, I had my trusty silicon ear plugs at the ready. These very ear plugs had been a lifesaver when I cycled the Camino a few years ago, where snoring was a pre-requisite to entry to the pilgrim hostels.

Silence reigned long enough for me to doze off, and then it began. First a barely audible intake of air and a slight grunt. Like a distant thunderstorm approaching it became louder and more frequent. Then silence. I dozed some more. In hindsight that was just Philips Nasal Symphony Orchestra tuning up for a 9 hour variety concert.

I didn’t recognise the first 2 pieces, but I suspect he chose them to showcase his full repertoire of snoring talents. He could change tone mid snore, incorporating arpeggios, staccato and vibrato all in the one drawn out breathe. My silicone ear plugs were no match for Philip. They seemed to act like noise enhancing, rather than noise cancelling headphones.

The third piece was unquestionably Prokofiev’s fifth sonata for bagpipes. The pace slowed a little with a Nova Scotian sea shanty followed by a whimsical Gregorian chant that blended seamlessly into one my all time favourites “If I were a rich man” from  the 1964 musical Fiddler on the roof.

It was at this point I decided to make my getaway. Surely Pete couldn’t be sleeping through this cacophony but he hadn’t stirred. I grabbed my sleeping bag, mat and pillow and started heading down a track into the forest. As the haunting notes of  Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you” faded slowly into the midnight air I found a spot in the bush, rolled out my mat and slowly fell asleep under the stars.

Pete desperately trying to prise his eyes open as Philip binds his pack together with twine he found behind a wool shed in 1992
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Greg Robertsi always believe the fourth sonata was better than the fifth.. you have learnt the most valuable lesson - death for snoring is a plausable defence in court.
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9 months ago
Dennis LangleyTo Greg RobertsWe’ll have to agree to disagree
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9 months ago

It was another crackerjack day as we headed up the valley following the disused railway line before climbing for an hour on single track. We’re still in Jarrah forests but it’s become scrubbier  and drier than the previous days. The pea gravel made an unwelcome return but only in a few sections, making it manageable. There’s a lot of mining going on around us. We passed under newly formed roads clearly designed for big trucks and passed another massive conveyor.

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The last 10 kilometres into Lake Brookman was a slog. Lots of sand and rocks and quite hilly. There was a diversion in place that forced us the long way around the lake delaying our lunch at the caravan park kiosk. This was our first chance to fill our water bottles with something resembling water.

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After demolishing a burger, chips and a chocolate milkshake we diverted off the Munda Biddi and headed eastwards to Harvey, a small agricultural town and our first rest day of the trip. With a healthy tail wind, sealed roads and a sweeping 3 kilometre downhill run to set us on our way we covered more territory in an hour than we did all morning.

We’ve booked the Harvey homestead for 2 nights to rest, wash ourselves and our clothes (this times sans plastic bag). The local pub is shut as the owner is unwell so the best option is fish and chips at the local fisho on the main drag. It’s a classic old time country town with plenty of empty shops but we do spy a wine bar across the road and head there for a deserved ale.

No murky water tonight
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Doesn’t sound comfortable to me
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Tarry Stokes, winner of the 2023 ‘The Voice’ is performing at the Rec hall tomorrow night.
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We don’t hold back at the Fisho and order the premium catch with salad and chips. It’s Bronzie (Bronze whaler shark), a quite meaty fish which is perfectly cooked and goes down a treat. Mid meal who should come in but Tarryn herself for a meet and greet with her legion of fans. Turns out her sister runs the shop and has organised the concert for her town as a fundraiser. She’s lovely and we immediately snap up one of the few remaining tickets at the exorbitant price of $25. 

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The ‘Big Orange’ at Harvey
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Today's ride: 60 km (37 miles)
Total: 284 km (176 miles)

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Greg Robertsno comment - is my defence... it may be recorded and used against me in court
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9 months ago
Rosie WindsorCan we please have a progress map Den? Dotted line……
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9 months ago
Dennis LangleyWill do. I’ll get Pete onto it.
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8 months ago