I was reading the San Luis Obispo newspaper and ran across the police blotter. Clearly, someone at that paper has a sense of humor. Here is a sample of entries you might enjoy...

Drugs: Police contacted two people at 12:30 am on Santa Barbara St. They arrested a 28-year-old mope for allegedly being high on dope and a 24-year-old belle of the ball for suspicion of being high on drugs and possessing more than one ounce of the evil weed.

Suspicious: A woman on Foothill Blvd, called at 4:20pm to report a suspicious man carrying a mail bag who was delivering the mail but wasn't wearing a Post Office uniform. It's unknown weather he was suspicious because of his clothes or because he was actually delivering the mail on foot.

Suspicious: Someone called at 8:34pm from the Embassy Suites to report a man in the parking lot had slammed a car door several times, must have been a Subaru.

Neighbors: A woman at an apartment complex on the 3300 block of Bullock Ln, told police that some battleaxe associated with another unit came to the door and threatened to punch her in the face.

Sex: Someone at the Tuesday Morning Store called at 8:00 pm to report a case of indecent exposure that had occurred at 9:00pm but apparently wasn't a big enough deal to report right away.

Dope: Someone at The Globe of Higuera St, reported people out on a patio were smoking the evil weed at 5:08pm. They'd wafted away before police arrived.