January 17, 2023
A guide from beyond
The night train to Bangkok
Dear little friends,
I was trying to sleep in on our last day in Chumphon because I knew I don’t sleep that well on trains, even in a cushy first class sleeping car. But I don’t really sleep in well, either. Sleep is a problem for me. We had to check out of our room at 1 so we got up to go downstairs and see what damage we could do to that breakfast buffet.
It was a good one. Trust me.
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Bruce was making noise about taking one last swim. I wasn’t going to swim however, because I don’t like dealing with wet clothing while having to go from one place to another. When we had left Chiang Mai in a big fat rush I nearly forgot the several items of clothing drying out on the guesthouse balcony, I had to stuff them into an empty plastic bag and hope no mildew ensued. No wet swimsuit to think/forget about, please. He declared that he wouldn’t swim either, then it would be too lonely. He decided to take a short neighborhood photo walk while I lazed around in the room.
As usual we had made our room into a right mess, what with my bags of clothing lying on counters and floors, the spoils of our shopping trip to be packed somehow, and a general reluctance to leave this luxurious room until the very last minute.
At 1:02 we entered the lobby area and stashed our bags under a counter behind where other people’s luggage was left. Chumphon is a train and ferry and bus crossroads so there are people coming and going constantly. They must store a lot of luggage at that hotel.
The last few days have gotten hotter and hotter, the winter season down here is officially over. While the humidity is not at the Deathcon levels we saw early in the trip, any stroll outside will get the sun hammering down on your head at a few kilotons so it seemed stupid to go out and get all sweaty and miserable when we’re not getting another shower for another 20 hours or so. I braided my hair, found an outlet, and settled down for some quality stare-at-my-phone time.
After a long boring afternoon punctuated by people coming and going, a few kids swimming in the pool behind us, and the hotel ladies chatting and gossiping when they weren’t busy, overlaid with that syrupy light jazz that seems to infect hotel lobbies everywhere like brain fungus, we finally rolled out the bikes and loaded them up to go to the train station.
On our reconnaissance mission the day before we had noticed an area with a lot of food tables and restaurants near the station, and sure enough we found a place to sit down and order a meal. As Bruce has mentioned, much dinner food in Thailand is takeaway or delivered, and they were gearing up for a lot of orders and seemed not quite ready for a couple of dine-in customers. But we said we were in no hurry, we’d wait, and while we waited they played some beautiful old Issan music, the kind we love, a nice antidote to the brain fungus jazz.
It was nice, we had a mellow place to sit with our pad krapow with an egg on top (kai dao) and watch the street scene as the dusk, and then darkness, fell. The motorbikes and walkers and people heading to the train station with backpacks or rolling suitcases, stopping for food, setting up more booths selling red Chinese New Year finery, it was such a Thai scene, especially with the lovely mixtape of both music and wok-banging.
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Eventually we made our way across the street to the station and rolled the bikes into the baggage entrance. There was a different guy behind the desk and he seemed completely frazzled. Bruce paid the baggage fee and tried to get a tiny hint about where the bikes should go but the vague wave of the desk guy’s hand was not at all reassuring. In the end we found a bench very near the baggage area where we could keep a sharp eye on them and still be able to get on the train.
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Bruce took a jaunt to the funky modular bathrooms and accidentally went into the ladies’ area but it was not a big deal, they all had stalls so who cares. Well, maybe a few ladies exiting their stalls cared but he beat feet outta there before a fuss could ensue.
It was weird though, the trains never seemed to stop at the station itself but way further down the track, so that everybody had to hustle down to board. I kind of think I know why. When we disembarked in Hua Hin, I couldn’t even get off because so many frantic people were trying to get on first. It was crazy! This way, all of us sitting on benches had to haul ass down to our train cars which gave the people getting off time to actually get off before we got there. Clever. Hideously clever but clever.
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The earlier Bangkok-bound train than ours was just pulling out as we got settled, and I opened my phone and lo and behold I had a Facebook message from Bill Weir, wondering if we were getting on that train, because he was on it! So funny! “Sorry, we have a sleeper, we’ll be right behind you, maybe we’ll see you in BKK”, I answered, but no, he was getting off in a suburb. “Trains that pass in the night,” he joked. We’ve been very close to other travelers we know in the past, but just missed them. Dang. Bill Weir is an amazing bike tourist and lives mostly in Thailand and rides all over the place. He is not to be mistaken for our dear friend Willie Weir who is also an amazing bike tourist but they know each other because this is a relatively small but wonderful community.
There’s a way to track trains, in Thailand at least. You go to google maps and click on the station and it tells you all the trains arriving there and when in real time, a real guide from beyond. I was watching that, seeing that there was another train to come first before ours. Ours was running late but then I couldn’t remember exactly what time it was supposed to arrive because of my numbers mental impairment. So that other train came and pulled in way hell and gone up ahead and suddenly two boys grabbed our bikes and were booking it down the platform. WHAT!?! I flipped out! And then the loudspeaker crackled “Krung Thep now leaving”. Krung Thep is the Thai name for Bangkok. Whoa, that was our train! Our turn to hustle allllllll the way up the train to the second car behind the engine, where all the cool kids sleep in first class sleeper cars.
It turns out that the Google map train station tracking is bogus and inaccurate and that our train was perfectly on time and this was it. We never did see where they loaded the bikes, we just got ourselves aboard and into our room and sat gasping on the edge of the already made-up lower bunk. Whew. I was tired and ready for bed. Bruce scoped out the toilet situation and accidentally opened the door to the next car thinking maybe it had our bikes in it but this time a fuss did ensue and they shooed him out of there in no uncertain terms. He did find the toilets though.
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After we had made use of the toilets, squat and otherwise, and also the tiny sink in our room that you have to bend double in order to put your face there and not spray toothpaste everywhere, I pulled out my sleeping bag, took a sleeping pill, put in some earplugs to drown out the train noise and the guy next door snoring like a chainsaw, no, maybe like one of those gas-powered leaf blowers, I crawled into my bunk and it was lights out.
This sleeper was slightly less luxurious than the first one we took from Chiang Mai to Bangkok but in some ways we liked it better. Not enough power outlets, admittedly, but more room somehow. No fun screen to tell us if the toilets/shower were in use or where we were, but it was still nice. And the very best thing that was better than the Luxury Sleeper? The beds had additional padding put down and were far softer and more comfy!
You’d think with all of my preparations I’d sleep like a baby but no, this is me, I don’t sleep well while in motion. But I did get some sleep, and that’s better than no sleep. There was a loud rattle from somewhere under my bunk, so Bruce shoved his Keen sandal there and that stopped. Early in the morning Leaf Blower woke up and started talking loudly on the phone. For a long, long, long time.
But during all this, I kept firmly in mind the people in other cars behind us, sleeping in bunks lined up against the walls with curtains on them, then after that, people sitting upright on cracked vinyl seats, and then after them, people sitting on hard wooden benches, all of us going through the night together, and some of us were going to get there several cars ahead of everybody else.
A plaintive guy kept coming to our door asking if we wanted dinner, or breakfast, or coffee. We had to lock the door to keep him away. We had a goal, and that goal was to sleep, get off in Bangkok, load up our presumably unharmed, un-lost bikes, ride out of the station and across the little arched bridge to our hotel, try to get an early check-in to our room, and try to wheedle out a buffet breakfast because we weren’t going to get ours early on Saturday morning when we had to leave for the airport.
Eventually the sky lightened, we swayed through miles of Bangkok suburbs, the porter came in and made our beds into bench seats, and we were looking out at the misery that neighborhoods along train tracks can be. It’s just the way it is, we say to ourselves. It hasn’t changed one bit since my first train ride out of Bangkok 20 years ago, I think to myself. “How do people live like this?” hangs over our heads, unspoken but felt keenly.
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The bikes immediately came to us at the baggage area, thank god. I think there was just very little freight put onto that particular train. We have gone in and out of that station four times on this trip and while it seems fraught, we love having the venerable Hua Lamphong Station right smack dab in the middle of Bangkok where we can get where we want almost instantaneously. The cab drivers joked with us as we rode out into their fray, we pulled around the familiar curb, hauled our bikes up the cute little arched selfie bridge with the usual grunting and groaning, crossed the busy street and pulled up the ramp and through the glass door. This was our third time in that hotel lobby on this trip and they looked up and smiled at us, gave us our breakfast vouchers, and we left everything in the red-lanterned lobby and headed to a room that almost feels like home by now.
Today's ride: 1 mile (2 km)
Total: 1,025 miles (1,650 km)
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1 year ago
Thank you for your kind sentiments. All the countries of S.E. Asia are easy for cycle touring on your own but Thailand is the easiest, or I should say, the place to start. I can't say enough good things about the people, food, lodging and scenery. We eat all the food, even when it's questionable, and have never gotten sick in Thailand. Lodging is still very reasonably priced and gets nicer with each trip. The people are gems and will always help if you need it. I know you asked about the mosquitoes in a previous comment. We carry one of those tennis racket bug electrocution devices which clears a room so that we can sleep without worry. Best thing we have ever brought along, however I have to take out the batteries every morning because it could short circuit or worse inside my pannier. It's kind of bulky too but an essential item to have in that part of the world. We also take along insect repellent called: Sawyer Premium Insect Repellent 20% Picaridin. I did research and it seems to be the best besides the horribly toxic DEET. But with each trip we see fewer and fewer mosquitoes. I don't know where they have all gone! And I've never seen a tick in Asia but this stuff works on them as well. If you are careful there is little to be afraid of in Thailand. Stay off the big roads because Thais drive too fast on them and are often drunk. The small roads are a dream. The biggest problems for us are heat and humidity which aren't that big a deal in the winter months (Nov. 15 - Feb.), but then smoke can be a hazard. All in all, Thailand is a great place to ride a bike and I strongly encourage you to go there sometime.
Stay tuned, we are not quite finished with our journal. We have the journey home, wrap-up, final thoughts and of course, BruceStats.
1 year ago
That's a keeper!
That and the loud-talking, gas powered leaf blower snoring guy.
1 year ago
1 year ago